Sectumsempra: Snape's Perspective
by Asterix Tutnix
Summary: After Harry cast the Sectumsempra spell on Malfoy in HBP, Snape wants to make Harry feel the consequences. Will what follows change their relationship? Same story as my other one, ‘Sectumsempra–The Consequences’, but this time from Snape’s POV. Warning:cp
1. Dealing with The Chosen One

**Sectumsempra – Snape's Perspective**

**After Harry**** cast the Sectumsempra spell on Malfoy in HBP, Snape sees it as his responsibility to make Harry feel the consequences. The Story is the same as my other one, 'Sectumsempra – The Consequences', but this time it is written from Snape's perspective. It starts in the bathroom directly after the curse hit Malfoy and Snape rushed in and healed him. The text in bold letters is a direct quote from the book.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters in this story, and I don't make any profit, either.

Warning: This story contains corporal punishment

Beta: JadeSullivan (Thank you so much!)

**Snape supported Malfoy across the bathroom, turning at the door to say in a voice of cold fury, 'And you, Potter ... you wait here for me.'**

He had to support Draco almost all the way to the hospital wing. Although the wounds had healed, the boy was still weak from the loss of blood. When they arrived, Madam Pomfrey rushed to meet them immediately and ushered Draco onto the nearest bed. Waving her wand over him, she checked his condition.

'Dittany for the scars and a Blood Replenishing Potion should do the trick,' she stated. 'Then lie down for a little while. By the time dinner is served you will be as good as new.'

Snape nodded, feeling relieved. 'Alright, Draco,' he said. 'I'll leave you here with Madam Pomfrey while I go back and deal with Potter.'

Draco didn't even smirk. He still looked deeply shaken.

Snape turned around and headed for the bathroom once more. Even before he got there he could hear Moaning Myrtle's wails. They only added to his fury. He was determined to make Potter pay for this.

Snape silently wondered if the boy had obeyed him and was still waiting in the bathroom. As soon as he entered, he noticed that, indeed, Potter had. The boy was leaning against a wall, his face ashen.

'Out!' Snape yelled to Moaning Myrtle, who immediately dived into the next toilet and disappeared.

'How's Malfoy? Will he be all right?' Potter asked in a rather shaky voice.

'He will, though that does not lessen the trouble you are in!'

He stared into Potter's face.

'Who would have guessed,' he continued, 'the Chosen One using Dark magic on a classmate. _Who taught you that spell_?' he shouted suddenly.

Potter flinched.

'I didn't know what that spell did, honestly! I read it somewhere, in some book…I forget which one it was...' he finished somewhat lamely, looking at the floor.

Snape grabbed his chin, raised his head and stared into Potter's eyes.

The boy had never been able to close his mind to him; this time he failed as dismally as he always had. Snape could clearly see a copy of 'Advanced Potion Making' come to the front of the boy's mind. The book opened, revealing the notes inside. Snape felt the room begin to spin as his worst suspicions were confirmed. It was his old book.

'You liar,' was all that he said before he went to the door and opened it. 'Come along. We are going to see the headmaster.'

When they finally arrived in front of Dumbledore's office, he again said, 'You wait here, Potter.'

Potter nodded and his teacher knocked and entered, closing the door behind him.

'Severus…' Dumbledore stood as he greeted him. 'Is anything wrong?' he asked, scrutinizing his younger colleague's face.

'One could say that, Headmaster,' Snape said dryly. 'It's about Potter again.'

'Oh, dear.' Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. 'I do hope he has not been mischievous again…'

Snape snorted. 'That's putting it very mildly. The Chosen One almost killed Draco Malfoy. I have just come from the hospital wing.'

Dumbledore's face drained of all amusement instantly. He slowly sat down again.

'Do sit down, Severus. How is the boy? Tell me what happened.'

Snape sighed. 'I didn't witness the act myself. The boys obviously quarrelled in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. I was alerted, in fact, by that aggravating ghost's screams. When I rushed in, Draco was lying on the floor with blood spurting from his face and chest. I was able to perform the countercurse quickly enough. I entered just in time. Draco is still being tended to by Madam Pomfrey; however he will be able to attend dinner. There is no permanent harm done.'

'Was Miss Myrtle able to tell you anything about the fight that led to all this?'

Snape snorted. This was one of the numerous occasions that Severus found the Headmaster irritating in his politeness. Only he could refer to that nuissance of ghost as 'Miss Myrtle'.

'Of course not, she was simply wailing like a banshee.'

Dumbledore smiled at him. 'I know I have said this before, Severus, but I must tell you again I am very grateful that I have you here to help me look after the students.' He gave a deep sigh. 'So Harry has been using Dark magic. I must admit I'm deeply surprised and disappointed. Do you know where he could have learned it?'

Snape shook his head jerkily. 'I do not. He must have read the spell and tried it out for the fun of it… He didn't have a clue what he was doing!'

'Do you know where he could have read about such a thing?

Now Snape was feeling uncomfortable himself. Of course Dumbledore knew about his fascination for the Dark Arts that he had cherished even before he actually became a Death Eater. Still Severus would have preferred if the man could have left his role out of this.

He grimaced.

'Obviously Potter has got hold of my old Potions text. I should have known from the beginning. I found Horace's praising over Potter's talent for brewing potions undoubtedly suspicious. Among my potions notes, I jotted down some spells that I invented.'

He forced himself to look into Dumbledore's eyes who regarded him with a thoughtful expression.

'Don't you find it odd, Severus, how fate toys with us?' the headmaster wondered philosophically. 'Harry and you are deeply connected by your determination to keep him safe from the dangers he faces from the Dark Side. However, it just so happens that you – without intent of course – taught him a Dark spell.'

Dumbledore frowned. 'Is there anything else in this book that we need fear?'

'No, Headmaster. The rest is rather harmless. Nevertheless, I will confiscate the book from him.'

Snape was eager to change the subject. 'So what are you planning to do with Potter about his irresponsible, almost fatal wand-waving? The boy is waiting outside, you should know.'

Dumbledore's face was very sombre. 'That is the question, isn't it? What would you suggest, Severus?'

'Well, an expulsion would be appropriate, wouldn't it?' Snape looked into Dumbledore's eyes. 'I am no fool, Albus. I know that you will never do that to Potter, if only to protect him. But you must come up with something more than a few detentions!'

'What else do you suggest, Severus?'

'Allow me to at least cane the boy!'

Dumbledore got up from his chair and paced his study. 'You know Severus that I am strongly opposed to corporal punishment. I do not see what good it shall do for Harry. I am convinced that once I have talked to him he will truly regret his actions and never do it again.'

Snape snorted. 'Regret his actions – probably. But never do it again? That boy is so bloody impulsive that I believe he'll do something equally as foolish and dangerous on a whim. He doesn't begin to think until it is too late.'

'Well, if this is what you believe, Severus, how do you think a caning will help?'

Snape hesitated. 'Perhaps, it will not,' he admitted. 'However, Potter deserves a harsh punishment for what he has done. This is not simply about the Golden Boy, but it is also about Draco Malfoy!'

'Ah.' Dumbledore nodded. 'Now I see your point. _Draco_ will want Harry to be punished harshly, of course. Do you think it wise to encourage pupils in such revenge-seeking?'

'Oh come off it, Albus! I am not revenge-seeking, I am merely realistic! Your ideas on mercy and forgiveness are all very nice, but you cannot expect a sixteen-year-old like Draco Malfoy to agree with you!'

Seeing that the headmaster was still not convinced, Snape sighed.

'Do me a favour and do not repeat the mistake you made with Sirius Black and James Potter! When they almost had me killed by that werewolf that night in the Shrieking Shack, you did not punish them properly either! Do you know how betrayed I felt? I do not want to let Draco feel the same. It would be the final straw that will drive him into the arms of the Dark Lord.'

Dumbledore's face was regretful. 'I know, Severus, I have failed you on more than one occasion.' He considered this for a moment and sighed deeply.

'All right, Severus. Harry will receive a caning. However, let me speak with him first. Please call him in.'

Snape opened the door and beckoned Potter inside. He was pleased to notice that the boy was so nervous he hardly managed to look into Dumbledore's face.

The headmaster looked at Potter seriously. 'Harry, Professor Snape told me you used a life threatening curse on Mr. Malfoy, is that true?'

'Yes, Professor, but I didn't know that it would do that, and Malfoy hexed me first, so I shot a spell at him and missed and then he tried—'

'No, Harry,' Dumbledore interrupted him. 'Do not try to make excuses for what you have done. I am sure that it was not your intention to harm Mr Malfoy seriously. If you tell me so, I will even believe you that you were not the first to raise your wand. However, you are in your Sixth Year and definitely should have your magic under control. There is absolutely no excuse to cast a spell at another person without knowing exactly what it does. Do you understand me?'

'Yes sir', Potter whispered.

'As soon as Mr Malfoy is out of the hospital wing you are going to apologize to him.'

Potter nodded silently. Snape felt a grim sort of satisfaction. That was more than Sirius Black had ever done to him!

Dumbledore peered at him over the top of his half-moon spectacles. 'Professor Snape and I have agreed on your punishments,' he continued. 'You will serve a number of detentions with Professor Snape.'

Potter nodded again.

'However', Dumbledore carried on, 'we have agreed that in your special case, we unfortunately will have to resort to corporal punishment as well.'

'Corporal punishment?' Potter repeated stupidly, 'But—'

'Yes Harry, corporal punishment,' Dumbledore answered, with a slight edge to his voice. 'I am fully aware that caning hasn't been used at Hogwarts for decades, not since I became Headmaster here, to be exact. But I am sure you see yourself that what you have done cannot be dealt with by simply handing out a few detentions. Any other pupil would have been expelled for certain. However, considering your safety and the tasks that lie ahead of you, expulsion is no option. Can you understand this, Harry?" he finished rather kindly.

The boy cleared his throat. 'Yes, I can,' he said quietly.

Dumbledore also cleared his throat. 'Good. Now I am aware, too well, of the mutual dislike between you and Professor Snape. Although you will serve your detentions with Professor Snape, I am offering to mete out the corporal punishment myself."

Snape drew in his breath to protest, but Dumbledore merely looked at him, and Severus remained silent. The headmaster was fooling him once again. _Dumbledore swinging the cane against his Golden Boy's backside… it__ will probably be more a petting than a caning!_ he thought angrily.

Potter gulped and tried to find his voice. 'Sir, thanks for offering, but I think...erm, I'm okay with Professor Snape doing it.'

This was one of the moments in which Snape was content with his aptitude in controlling his facial expression. He was completely flabbergasted, and for the first time ever almost pleased with the boy. Potter cast a quick sideways glance at him, and Snape noticed a trace of fear in his eyes.

'Very well,' said Dumbledore and considered Potter for a moment. 'In this case, Harry, I want you to be in my office tomorrow night at eight o'clock for our next lesson. Severus?'

He nodded, went to the door and opened it. Potter looked once more into Dumbledore's eyes.

'I'm really sorry,' Potter whispered sadly. Then he dropped his head and went out of the office, followed by his potions master, who quietly closed the door behind them.

Please review and let me know what you think!


	2. Punishment

WARNING: This chapter includes rather a detailed description of the caning of a teen, so if you don't care for that type of story please don't read it but go on to chapter 3.

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Snape studied Potter's face. The boy was looking down at the floor. With visible effort, Potter finally raised his gaze and met his eyes.

'Follow me, Potter,' the professor said and immediately headed for the dungeons. His pupil obeyed without a word. Snape still could hardly believe that he had actually managed to persuade Dumbledore to consent to corporal punishment. And for Potter, at that!

He smirked.

'Congratulations, Potter. Not even your father managed to receive a caning, and that is really saying something. As Professor Dumbledore mentioned, you are the first student he ever ordered to be physically punished, in all these years. This most certainly is some achievement.'

'You are really going to enjoy this, aren't you?' Potter replied heatedly.

Snape raised one of his eyebrows: 'I most certainly am, and I have to admit that I was pleased, though surprised, that you declined the Headmaster's offer to attend to you by himself. Would you enlighten me about your reasoning behind that?'

'No,' Harry muttered.

'I see. May I remind you that you still are to address me as "sir" at all times?'

'Yes – sir,'

Snape could detect the contempt in Potter's voice but decided to ignore it. They marched on in silence. The professor was still wondering what had caused the boy to choose him over Dumbledore for his punishment. Potter surely knew Snape would be harder on him than the headmaster. And Snape _was_ determined to be hard. Although he had never administered or been on the receiving end of a caning, he had a pretty good idea what it was all about. When he had started teaching at Hogwarts and gone through the old documents left in the cupboard of his classroom, he had come across a very old 'Guideline for Hogwarts Teachers', which included a chapter on caning. Curiosity aroused, Snape had questioned Dumbledore about the matter, since the Headmaster had experienced it first-hand. It was obvious that corporal punishment was not Dumbledore's favourite topic, yet he had answered all of Snape's questions elaborately.

Snape forced his thoughts back to the present, took a sharp right turn and entered a dimly lit corridor. Potter followed, a puzzled expression on his face. With a flick of his wand, Snape opened a door on the left.

'Light please, Potter.'

The boy raised his wand. '_Lumos_.' The light of the tip of the wand illunminated an overcrowded store-room. There were large piles of battered spellbooks, faded Quidditch robes with stains that obviously not even the house-elves could have dealt with, loads of dusty boxes and some stuffed creatures. The whole room was a complete mess and very dirty. It was obvious that no one had been in there for a long time.

'Sir, what..?'

Snape merely shook his head at the question. He had glanced at all the shelves without finding what he was looking for, so he tried a Summoning charm. '_Accio_ cane!' he said. From behind some boxes a cane flew into his outstretched hand.

Silently they continued their march to the dungeons. When they crossed the Great Hall, they passed several small groups of students who whispered excitedly among each other when they caught sight of them. Snape gathered Moaning Myrtle had wasted no time in telling everybody what she had witnessed in her bathroom. He was pleased to notice the shock on most faces when they spotted the cane in his hand but less pleased when he heard a deep sigh from Potter while they descended the stairs.

'Are you already complaining about your punishment?' he inquired.

'I'm not; I would just prefer it if the whole school didn't know about it!' Potter retorted heatedly.

_You usually don't mind being the centre of attention_Snape was about to answer, but stopped himself from doing so. He still didn't know why Potter had entrusted him with his caning, but he definitely was happy about it. In return he decided to refrain from badgering his pupil. Yes, he would be hard on him, but he would not humiliate him intentionally. He chose his words carefully.

'I can't imagine you would like your schoolmates to think you got off lightly? They are not impressed by what you have done. Surely their knowing that you have been punished severely by me is going to help.'

They finally had arrived at the door to the potions classroom. 'After you, Mr Potter,' Snape said sarcastically. He closed the door behind Potter. 'I suppose you would want some privacy,' he remarked as he locked the door magically and placed silencing charms on it. Again, he looked into the boy's face. Potter was obviously trying to hide his nervousness, but his face was pale, and his eyes were wide. Seeing this, Snape decided not to be cruel; he would begin the punishment straight away.

'Give me your wand and drop off your robe,' he ordered.

Potter placed his robe over a chair and reluctantly handed his wand over.

'Good. Now do you have anything in the back pockets of your trousers?'

'No, sir.'

He appeared to be honest about it.

'Bend over a desk then.'

Potter approached a desk. 'How many will I get…sir?' he asked nervously.

'Ten strokes.'

Without another word the boy bent over the desk and grabbed the far side of the table with both hands, placing his cheek on the wooden surface. Snape couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of respect for him. He noticed that the desk was a bit too low for Potter, so he adjusted the height with a quick flick of his wand. As Snape approached the desk, he flicked his wand once more, pulling Potter's shirt out of his uniform's trousers.

'Now, don't move, Potter, or I will use a body-bind spell. Is that understood?'

'Yes sir,' Potter whispered.

Snape touched the boy's buttocks lightly with the cane to get his aim, raised his arm high in the air and brought it down forcefully. A whoosh and a crack resounded throughout the dungeon classroom. Potter winced at the impact but no sound escaped his lips.

'One,' Snape said calmly.

Tapping just a bit below where he had first hit, Snape drew his arm back for the second time and swished the cane through the air. The second crack sounded even louder than the previous one.

'Two.'

_Tap. __Whoosh. Crack_. 'Three.'

He could see that the knuckles of Potter's hands were white from holding on to the table so forcefully.

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack_. 'Four.'

Potter gasped, and tears splashed from his eyes onto the wooden surface.

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack_. 'Five.'

Snape heard Potter groan. The boy's red face was twisted in pain, and seeing this, he now understood why the old Guideline had suggested six strokes as the appropriate amount for a regular caning. He was rather impressed that the boy had lasted that long without crying out.

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack_. 'Argh!'

The sudden, short yelp startled him and caused him to lower the cane, but only for a second.

'Six.' His voice was as calm as ever.

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack_. 'Argh!'

'Seven.'

Potter had jumped from the blow and was writhing on the desk but managed to hold on with his hands. He was sobbing now. Snape remembered that he had warned the boy about using a body-bind spell should he move. He decided against it, the boy had tried hard to cooperate until now. So he merely said, 'Keep still, Potter.' He waited until Potter lay motionless over the table once more.

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack_. 'Argh!'

Snape could see Potter's whole body shaking. He actually felt a little pity for the boy. Trying to get rid of this feeling he told himself that he was just administering a well-deserved punishment to James Potter's son, who was so much like his father. _Though_ _his father would never have submitted to my punishment like that... _a small voice said inside his head.

'Eight. Just two more to go.'

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack_. 'Argh!'

He watched Potter's twitching shoulders and listened to his ragged breathing. Snape was surprised by his own comforting tone of voice as he said, 'Nine. Just one more, you've almost made it.'

However, he forced himself to apply the last stroke as forcefully as the others.

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack_. 'Argh!'

'Ten.'

Snape placed the cane on the desk, pulled out and flicked his wand, tucking Potter's shirt back into his trousers. He watched his student attentively. The sobbing had ceased but Potter still hadn't moved. Snape realized that the boy was probably waiting for permission.

'You may rise now,' he said.

Potter slowly pushed himself up from the desk and turned around to face his teacher who offered him a tissue. 'Thanks,' he muttered and wiped his glasses, his face and blew his nose.

'I want you to be in my office tonight after dinner at 7:30 for your first detention. Your other detentions will take place every Saturday morning at ten o'clock,' Snape said and held Potter's wand out to him. 'You may leave now.'

Potter took the wand from Snape, picked up his robe and headed for the door. 'Oh, and Potter, one more thing,' Snape added and the boy turned around once more.

'As the pain you are feeling right now does not result from an accident but from a well-deserved punishment, you are not to use any magic to reduce it. That includes salves or potions. Do I make myself clear?'

'Yes sir,' Potter replied quietly and left the room.

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Please let me know what you think! And thanks to everybody who left a review on my last chapter!


	3. Dinner

Snape stood and looked at the door through which Potter had just left. He felt ... confused.

_You are really going to enjoy this_, Potter had said to him before the punishment. And Snape had agreed. But had he really? Snape was not a man who spent a lot of time analysing his own feelings, but on the few occasions that he did, he tried to be honest with himself. Yes, he did enjoy having the authority to physically discipline the boy—the pupil he disliked most intensively. And it had given him deep satisfaction to see James Potter's son bent over a desk bracing himself for his punishment, barely succeeding in hiding his nervousness.

However, hitting the sobbing Potter towards the end of the caning had been less satisfactory than anticipated. And although Snape was still surprised that he had even felt pity for the boy, he was glad that he had refrained from badgering him on top of causing him physical pain.

He picked up the cane and looked at it thoughtfully. He could not deny that using it on Potter had been like an outlet for some of the anger he felt for the boy. Snape still did not like Potter, but his intensive antipathy had receded somewhat.

_If I only could have done this once to James Potter... _He sighed and put the cane away in the classroom cupboard. Then he picked up his wand and adjusted the desk Potter had bent over to its previous height. Hoping that Potter had not lingered in the corridor, Snape finally decided to go to dinner.

On his way to the Great Hall, he made a small detour by the hospital wing. As Snape had intended, he met Draco Malfoy, also heading for dinner. The man was surprised, though pleased, that Madam Pomfrey had actually released Draco, as she tended to keep pupils in the hospital wing rather longer than necessary. It was a good sign that the boy's condition had improved considerably. However, Severus frowned when he noticed that Draco was walking with his head bowed and his shoulders hunched.

'Draco, I want a quick word!' he told the boy, who still looked rather pale. He took his student's elbow and led him into an empty corner of the aisle.

'Are you feeling all right?'

When Draco merely nodded Snape continued. 'As promised, I dealt with Potter, and I did so thoroughly. However, I want you to refrain from cornering him and seeking revenge. Even though you do not wish to tell me anything about your mission, I do know that it puts you under quite a strain, and consequently, you should not take any additional risks, namely a private vendetta with Potter.'

Draco gave him a dark look. 'What do you mean by 'dealt thoroughly'? I don't care how many points you took or detentions you gave him. I want him to _suffer_ for what he did!'

Snape answered slowly: 'And suffer he did. For your information, I persuaded the Headmaster to let go of his scruples concerning corporal punishment and to allow me to administer what I deemed an appropriate consequence. I assure you that Potter is presently in much more discomfort than you are.'

Draco's eyes went wide. 'Corporal punishment? But how, I mean, did you hex him or…what did you do?'

Snape raised his eyebrows. 'No, I did not. I applied the Muggle school treatment.'

'What's the Muggle school treatment?' Draco asked curiously.

'A caning,' Snape said dryly. 'A simple but very effective punishment that is still used in Muggle boarding schools but has been abolished at Hogwarts since Professor Dumbledore became Headmaster here. You must have heard about it?´

'Yeah, sure,' Draco answered, indiscreetly delighted now. 'My grandfather Abraxas often spoke about it when he used to complain that there is no true discipline anymore... So Dumbledore really gave you permission to _thrash_ Potter?'

Snape inclined his head. 'He felt, like me, that the seriousness of what Potter had done called for a serious punishment.' He could see the deep satisfaction in Draco's eyes and could understand it, thinking bitterly how much grief it would have saved him had he been given the opportunity to feel the same in his youth.

'So, did he cry? Did he _howl_?' Draco asked gleefully but looked a little disappointed when Snape shook his head.

'No, Draco. I am still both your _and_ Potter's teacher, and there are some things that are confidential. Just as I am not permitted to tell you about his exam marks, the same goes for his behaviour while taking a punishment. Now off to dinner with you, or you'll be late.'

Draco nodded a little reluctantly but went off, his head held high. Snape nearly smiled as he watched the boy swagger into the Great Hall. Draco's expression, his whole demeanour, was completely transformed from how it had been a mere ten minutes ago.

He also entered into the Great Hall and couldn't help noticing that many eyes were on him while he crossed the room. He sat down at the teachers' table between Dumbledore and McGonagall. He noted a little irritably, that although they had been in a deep discussion before he arrived, they had done so over the empty seat, obviously saving the seat between them for him.

Dinner had already begun and so, after a short greeting, Snape immediately helped himself to some stew. He glanced quickly over to the Gryffindor table and was not in the least surprised that Potter was missing, as well as his two best friends, Granger and Weasley. Potter's other Gryffindor friends were there, some of them glaring at him, especially the Weasley girl. He glared back and was satisfied to see that she hastily dropped her gaze down to her plate.

'Severus,' McGonagall began the inevitable conversation, 'Albus told me about what Mr. Potter did to Mr. Malfoy and also about the punishment my student received. Seeing as Mr. Malfoy is here having dinner but Mr Potter is not, I gather that you already caned the boy?'

Her lips were thin, but her tone was neutral. Snape wasn't certain of her opinion just yet. He gave a short nod and looked straight into her face. 'Obviously, Minerva.'

She also nodded and replied, 'I take it he cooperated?'

'He knew better than to try not to,' was Snape's dry reply.

'How many did you give him?' she asked.

'Ten,' Snape said with an impassive expression on his face as he poured himself some pumpkin juice. A short silence followed, after which Dumbledore spoke:

'You knew even before you began that ten strokes is an exceptionally harsh punishment if the cane is applied forcefully, didn't you, Severus?' The old man's blue eyes pierced deeply into Snape's black eyes.

The younger man did not avert his eyes. 'And exceptional is how I would describe the severity of Potter's actions.' Upon seeing the look on Dumbledore's face he added 'Be assured, Albus, that I didn't give him more than was appropriate under these circumstances.'

Dumbledore didn't answer but looked back onto his own plate. He didn't look very pleased. It was Minerva who spoke next, and her words took Snape by surprise.

'I agree with you, Severus.'

Her lips were still thin, and it was only now that Snape realized it was not him she was angry with.

'How did Harry take it?' Dumbledore asked.

'How do you think he took it? Quietly at first, though he became more ... upset towards the end.' Snape felt a little irritated with the constant concern that the headmaster displayed toward his Golden Boy. Though of course, he told himself, he should have expected it.

Minerva had finished her meal and laid down her cutlery. She gave Snape an inquisitive look and asked, 'I assume that you told Potter what would happen should he try to heal himself?'

'No. I just explicitly forbade him to do so and he said he understood,' her colleague answered her, not bothering to suppress a smirk.

'Oh Severus. Don't you think that was rather unfair?' the witch sighed.

Snape's expression hardened. 'No, not in the least. He tried to convince Albus and me that he was very sorry for what he had done, and that he understood why he was going to be punished. So I will see whether it was just all talk, and if it was...well, there will be a very sorry Potter this evening. Oh, I haven't told you, he will serve his first detention with me straight after dinner. The others will take place on Saturday mornings.'

Now it was McGonagall's expression that hardened. 'Oh yes, Severus, and let me guess, it is pure coincidence that this will prevent Mr Potter from participating in the last Quidditch match?'

Snape's face was unreadable. 'Think whatever you wish, Minerva.'

Meanwhile the food had disappeared, and the noise of all the students standing up and leaving the Hall interrupted their conversation. Snape stood up, too.

'I had better head for my office to make sure I'm there when Potter arrives,' he said.

'Do you already know what you are going to do with Harry during his detentions?' Dumbledore inquired.

Snape inclined his head. 'Yes I do, and don't worry—it will be most instructive...'

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Again, thanks to everybody who reviewed! Your reviews have been so encouraging for me!

And a big THANK-YOU goes to my beta Jade!


	4. Detention

Snape entered his office and closed the door behind him. A few minutes remained until Potter's detention, which he wanted to use to prepare everything. He had assured Dumbledoe that the detentions would be instructive for Potter, and he had detected a hint of doubt in the headmaster's face, who probably had taken his sarcastic assurance as nothing more than an ironic remark.

He had to give the old man credit, though. Although it was, at times, obvious that the headmaster did not share Severus' views on appropriate forms of punishment, Albus did his best to avoid undermining Snape's authority or interfere.

As for Potter's detention this evening, Snape's main objective was that to see if the boy had obeyed him and refrained from healing himself. After all, Snape knew that the cane had been charmed ages ago so that any attempt that Potter might make to heal himself would show on his hands. He was convinced that Potter had disobeyed him and was determined to punish him him severely for it.

Snape had originally thought about following the standard routine: having Potter scrub cauldrons among the man's occasional snide remarks. However, he changed his mind. Although he was still convinced that caning Potter had been the right thing to do, he couldn't help but admit that Dumbledore made a point by stating that it was doubtful that it would change Potter for the better.

_I could probably tan his hide once a week and he would still have his temper outbursts,_ he thought angrily.

Finally, Snape made up his mind.

This boy needed to learn to control his temper; therefore, Snape decided that the first lesson would be to let the boy analyse his deficits in this regard. Placing some rolls of parchment, a bottle of ink and a quill on a small desk at the side of his office, he smiled grimly when he realized that potter would be spending his entire detention sitting on his smarting backside, inevitably reminding him why he was there.

Snape looked down at his watch and snorted. The boy was already two minutes late. He sat down behind his desk and began marking homework essays, though his heart wasn't in it. Really, this boy had some nerve! Why was he late? Was this supposed to be some sort of defiant demonstration? Or, more likely, was Potter still desperately trying to find a way to reduce his pain without making his disobedience obvious?

The man was still imagining what the boy might be doing when he heard a knock on the door. He glanced at his watch again. Five minutes late.

'Enter,' Snape called.

The door opened slowly, and Potter entered carefully, closing the door quietly behind him.

'Evening, sir,' he said a little stiffly.

Snape peered at him. The boy looked relatively composed and not defiant at all. Instead, he appeared to be nervous.

'Ah. Potter. Sit.' He pointed at the chair on the opposite side of his desk.

'Erm… Sir, if you don't mind, I'd rather stand,' Potter tried his luck, eyeing the hard-looking wooden chair in dread.

'I am aware of that, Potter, however, I said SIT.'

He watched attentively as Potter carefully lowered himself into the chair. With grim satisfaction, he noticed the boy squirming to find a comfortable position. Finally, Potter sat still. Snape noticed that the boy had entangled his hands in the folds of his robe. He didn't say anything but instead waited to see if maybe his pupil would apologize for being late. However, when Potter opened his mouth, it was not what Snape had expected him to say.

'Sir, I was wondering if, before we start, I might ask you a favour...'

Snape frowned. 'What kind of favour?'

'It's about detention this coming Saturday. It's the last Quidditch match, and I was wondering if I could maybe serve it another day...'

Snape almost felt a twinge of amusement. First Minerva, now Potter. Though he should have expected it. The boy was a Potter, after all.

'Oh no, Potter. We are not postponing any detention. Poor Gryffindor... no Quidditch cup this year, I presume. Remind me, what was last year's Quidditch ban for?' Snape inquired, although he knew the answer. He raised his eyebrows.

'For hitting Malfoy,' the boy muttered.

'Indeed. So this time you will not be able to play because you almost killed Mr Malfoy. It would be ridiculous to let you play after this, wouldn't it?'

Potter didn't answer right away. 'Last year's ban wasn't fair,' he finally said.

Snape inwardly rolled his eyes. _Not fair!_ But he couldn't help noticing that Potter at least hadn't complained of the injustice of his present punishment.

'For Merlin's sake, Potter, I'm not going to discuss this with you now. I will see you here this Saturday at ten o'clock, on time. And while we are speaking about it, why are you late?'

He could tell by the look on the boy's face that at least he hadn't been late on purpose.

'I'm sorry, sir. It's just…I met Malfoy on my way here and I wanted to go ahead and apologize to him.'

Potter blushed and Snape couldn't help feeling that his pupil wasn't being honest. He eyed him suspiciously and asked, 'So, did you apologize?'

'Yeah, I did,' Potter replied, not meeting his professor's eyes.

Snape leaned forward. 'Look at me, Potter.'

His pupil obeyed, unable to hide his discomfort. Snape's voice was a dangerous whisper.

'Potter, I know that you have lied to me on various occasions. But I will not accept anything but the complete truth from you today. If I catch you lying about anything, you will sorely regret it. Is that clear?'

Potter just nodded without saying a word.

'Good. So I repeat my question, and you had better think twice about your answer, because I know you are hiding something,' Snape said slowly. 'Did you apologize?'

Potter swallowed hard.

'Yes, I really did! But then he teased me about…my punishment, and…well, I ended up shouting at him,' he admitted.

Snape frowned.

'Ah. Mr Malfoy teased you, and you shouted at him. So had you expected him to accept your apology gratefully? May I remind you that you almost killed him? You used a curse you did not know, caused him pain and the loss of a dangerous amount of blood. I am only glad that the Headmaster for once consented to an appropriate punishment for you. I only hope that during our short…encounter in the Potions classroom I gave you enough opportunity to think about your actions!'

He had obviously hit a nerve. 'Can't you just leave it? I know that I deserved what I got. Do you have to rub it in?' the boy asked angrily, almost shouting.

'Manners, Potter,' Snape said, annoyed with the boy's attitude. 'So you are trying to make me believe, in your usual disrespectful manner, of course, that you accept having been justly punished?'

'Yes,' Potter answered, blushing again. He quickly looked down at his hands.

Yes, Snape's suspicions were confirmed.

'Hold out your hands, Potter,' he spat

Harry's head snapped up. 'What?'

'Hold out your hands. Now.' Snape's eyes flashed.

Potter's eyes flashed with dread. Slowly he stretched out his hands. Snape grabbed his left hand first, examined it from all sides then did the same with the right hand. To his utter surprise, he found nothing but some white scars on the back of Potter's hand that read 'I must not tell lies'. He couldn't help but smirk when he thought of how appropriate this text appeared…on Potter of all people. Snape ran his finger over the scars, wondering why he had never noticed them before.

'This is a souvenir of Professor Umbridge, I suppose?' he inqired.

Potter merely nodded.

'I see. Did you use anything on your hand then?'

'Yes, I used Murtlap essence.'

_Ah, so he does know how to relieve pain effectively..._

'You should have used dittany as well; that would have prevented the scars.'

Snape finally let go of both hands and looked into Potter's eyes again.

'You do not cease to surprise me today, Potter,' he said quietly. 'I cannot believe you actually followed an order without trying to cheat.'

Harry shook his head. 'I don't know what you're talking about, sir,' he said.

Snape sighed. 'The cane I used on you had been charmed. You didn't know this, I suppose?'

Harry silently shook his head.

'Well , I am not surprised, as it is not an artefact that is still in use, under normal circumstances at least,' he added sarcastically and was pleased to see his pupil blush again.

'However,' Snape continued, 'if you think about it, I am sure you will agree with me that it would be rather ineffective to use a normal, Muggle cane to discipline students at Hogwarts.'

The way his student stared at him was priceless. Potter still didn't seem to have a clue what Snape was talking about.

'Think Potter,' Snape said impatiently, 'if caning were still a usual means of punishment, don't you think that every house would have their private stocks of healing salves in their common room?'

'Er, yes, probably,' Potter replied, knitting his brows in confusion.

'Of course they would,' Snape confirmed. 'You used Murtlap essence last year. So the charm works that way: As soon as the well-punished student tries to meddle with the weals he received, it would not only fail to work, but would also result in other weals on his hands.'

'So he would just cause more pain to himself?' Potter asked.

'Yes, as well as getting into trouble with his teacher for trying. But this hardly ever happened, as the existence of this charm used to be common knowledge among the students of Hogwarts.'

Potter was thoughtful as he nodded silently. Suddenly the boy grinned.

Snape eyed him suspiciously.

'What is it, Potter?'

'Erm, nothing really. I just realized that _Hogwarts: A History_ doesn't reveal everything after all, otherwise Hermione would have told me about it. For once I know something of Hogwart's history that she doesn't. So you did that on purpose, didn't you…not telling me that magic wouldn't work and it'd just have to heal naturally?'

Snape was surprised that Potter's voice almost passed as polite rather than accusing. He inclined his head.

'Indeed I did Potter, and I assure you that had you tried to use magic in spite of my explicit order not to, you would be very sorry for that by now.'

_Indeed, because I would have healed you and__ then started your caning once more from the beginning_, Snape thought and cleared his throat before he continued.

'However, it is not true that no magic would help. The charm just ensures that any healing spell has to be performed — or salve applied — by the same person who used the cane.' He hesitated for a moment. 'So Potter, should you feel the need, you may come and see me tomorrow after breakfast, before you attend your first class.'

Potter stared at him, open-mouthed. After a moment he snapped it shut quickly, emitting a bewildered 'Thank you, sir.'

Snape was almost as surprised by his own offer as the boy was, but he knew the reason for his proposal. The fact that Potter had not meddled with his weals indicated sincere remorse for what he had done, and Snape knew the boy hadn't been lying when he had claimed that he deserved what he had got.

Snape made a mental note to talk to Dumbledore about this. As wise as the headmaster undoubtedly was, sometimes he seemed to forget about the way the simpler minds of adolescents worked. Draco knew that Potter was justly punished and was happy about it. Potter knew he was justly punished, and though he undoubtedly wasn't happy about it, he still accepted it. And he wasn't even sulking, as Snape had half-expected him to be. Rather, Potter had spoken to him more respectfully than Snape could remember him ever doing.

'I'll see how I feel tomorrow, sir,' Potter said, interrupting Snape's thoughts.

The professor nodded. 'All right. Back to your detentions. I want to use them to make sure that today's incident will never, ever happen again. You do not have your temper under control—that is your problem, Potter! And if you don't learn to have more control over yourself, you will continue to end up in trouble, and not only at school! You failed dismally to control your emotions last year during our Occlumency lessons, and I can only hope that, meanwhile, you will agree that this is a weakness that you, of all people, cannot afford! That said, this is what we will work on during your detentions.'

'Yes, sir, but we're not restarting Occlumency lessons, are we?' Potter stammered.

Snape gave him a grim smile. 'Not unless I have to. But we will see. Anyway, it is in your hands how many detentions will be necessary. But today is the first step. You will write an essay on your lack of control and the consequences. Make sure you give examples.'

'That shouldn't be too difficult then,' Potter remarked dryly, his lips twitching slightly.

Snape was amused. Who would have thought that the arrogant Chosen One was even capable of self-mockery?

'Indeed, Potter.'

Snape pointed to the small desk that he had prepared at the other side of the room.

'Get started, then.'

Potter walked over to the other table and carefully sat down again, once more squirming to find a comfortable position on the chair.

Snape watched how the boy as he winced. But without a word of complaint, the boy simply smoothed out the first roll of parchment and picked up the quill.

'Stand up,' he heard himself command suddenly.

Bewildered, his pupil stood up and looked at him. Snape doled out a quick flick of his wand. Potter's desk suddenly increased in height, allowing the boy to write his essay while standing.

Potter gave him a quick, but honest smile.

'Thank you, sir.'

The green eyes found the black and Snape nodded.

'You're welcome, Mr Potter.'


	5. Breakfast and DADA

Snape had finished marking the stack of essays on his desk. His students' lack of understanding for potion brewing never ceased to irritate him. Supressing a sigh, he put his quill down and glanced over at Potter. The boy hadn't uttered a word since starting on his essay; although his facial expression was rather revealing. Sometimes Potter would frown, biting on his thumb, before scribbling a paragraph, at other times the boy grinned briefly for unknown reasons. At any rate, he seemed rather concentrated. Snape smiled grimly when he saw the boy's left hand reach back to absent-mindedly rub his backside.

Wondering how many unknown, foolish actions of Potter's he would learn about by reading the boy's essay, Snape eventually picked up a book that the headmaster had lent him. _Yes_, he told himself for the umpteenth time, _being a teacher at Hogwarts I have to bear the stupidity of the pupils, but I gain the privilege of working alongside the greatest wizard of our time, who does not restrict his enthusiasm of passing on his knowledge only to the students._It didn't take long until he was completely absorbed.

'Erm...sir?'

Potter's voice startled him. He looked up from his book and frowned. 'What is it, Potter?'

'I've finished my essay, sir.'

_Already?_ Snape looked disapprovingly at two blank pieces of parchment on Potter's table that were obviously still unused. He wasn't really surprised, though, since Potter's homework essays never contained more than the absolute minimum.

'It seems to me that you have written less than I assumed you could have, given your history,' he remarked dryly as he glared at the boy. 'I do hope, for your sake, Potter, that you did a good job and I won't have to punish you again, this time for laziness.'

Potter gulped. 'I've written everything relevant I could think of at the moment, sir.'

Snape smirked. 'An interesting night's read, no doubt,' he remarked sarcastically. He peered at his student. It was easy to tell that the boy was rather exhausted, so he just nodded. 'Dismissed.'

Obviously relieved, Potter headed for the door, awkwardly wished him a good night and left.

Snape sighed and walked over to the desk Potter had vacated. Curious, he picked up Potter's essay and read its headline: _The Consequences of Losing my Temper_, but then he hesitated and put the rolls of parchment into a drawer in his desk. He would read it another day, as he felt he'd had enough of Potter for one day. Instead, he picked up his book again, deciding he had definitely earned the right to retire.

...

Snape helped himself to some porridge and looked toward the Slytherin table. Draco was eating with a ravenous appetite, and Snape was pleased to see that he seemed well-rested. It appeared the shock he had suffered the day before hadn't kept him from sleeping. Glancing over toward the Gryffindors, the professor noted that Potter was also eating well while chatting with his fanclub.

'Severus?'

Snape turned his head to peer into the blue eyes of the headmaster.

'How did the detention with Harry go?'

Feeling slightly irritated by the constant concern Dumbledore showed toward his Golden Boy, Snape took his time as he finished chewing his mouthful of food. However, he did want to talk to Albus about Potter, so he eventually swallowed. Aware that McGonagall, who sat on his other side, was listening attentively, he raised his eyebrows, unable to resist a sarcastic retort.

'It went surprisingly well, Albus. I hardly recognized the boy, he was so respectful.'

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with their usual gleam as he said, 'Would you mind giving me the details?'

Snape became serious again. 'No, of course not, Albus. To be honest, Potter wasn't very respectful…at first. To begin with, he arrived late and said it was because he had met Mr. Malfoy and wanted to apologize. But it turned out that Potter was unable to do so without shouting at him.When I berated him, he shouted at me about _knowing_ he'd deserved his punishment, so I checked his hands. Although he wasn't aware of the charm on the cane, he had not tried to heal himself. Surprisingly, he actually behaved himself for the rest of the detention.'

Snape took a sip of his tea. Dumbledore still didn't say anything, neither did McGonagall. Placing his mug on the table, Snape sighed.

'Albus, I know that you are not happy with me for caning the boy. However, I am convinced it was the right thing to do, and not only for Draco Malfoy's sake. I believe _both_ boys think it was a fair punishment... not that I would have expected Potter to feel that way, I have to admit, he held no grudge,' Snape added a little uncomfortably. He wasn't sure if it was merely his imagination or if Dumbledore had nodded slightly in agreement. Regardless, he continued.

'And I also know you think I punished him too harshly. Well I certainly wasn't easy on him, and I am glad that I wasn't, as it caused the boy to treat me with respect for once.' This time he was suere it was not his imagination, Dumbledore was shaking his head. 'You disagree, Albus?'

'I do, Severus.' Snape raised his eyebrows and raised his mug to his mouth once more, without lifting his eyes from the headmaster's face.

The elderly man continued:

'I do not question your observations, Severus, only the conclusions you have drawn. I am pleased to hear that you find Harry has treated you respectfully; it is a pleasant change from your usual complaints in that matter. But I doubt that you were able to cane that respect into him. You see, I can tell you from my own experience from being on the receiving end of the cane," he began, offering Snape a tiny smile to counter his questioning look, 'that an overly harsh punishment or intentional humiliation does not promote respect but rather defiance. So if you truly believe that Harry behaved respectfully, I would say it was not because you punished him harshly, but merely because you weren't too harsh.'

'Ah,' Snape said triumphantly, 'yesterday I got the impression that you weren't pleased because you thought I overdid it. So you now admit that I didn't give Potter any more than he deserved?'

Dumbledore inclined his head and spoke slowly. 'Only provided that Harry showed true respect rather than the wrong sort...' Upon seeing Snape's raised eyebrows he added, 'You know Severus, nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.'

Feeling slightly irritated again, Snape remarked, 'You _would_ say that, wouldn't you, Albus?'

The headmaster chuckled and said, 'To be honest, those words aren't mine, but Camus'.'

Snape blinked, bewildered, as he had never heard of that wizard.

'Albert Camus was a famous French Muggle,' Dumbledore informed him upon seeing his confusion. 'He died a while ago; however, he had some very interesting ideas.'

Snape snorted. Judging from the quote, he could bet that Dumbledore _would_ find that man's ideas interesting! But right now he felt that he had more pressing matters to discuss with the headmaster than some crazy French Muggle, deceased or not.

'Coming back to Potter, Albus, no matter how you would classify the sort of respect he showed, I am not so much of an optimist to assume it would last. How am I supposed to punish him in the future with the amount of detention he already has? He still needs time to study... though I doubt he uses it effectively in the first place,' he added sarcastically. 'Deducting housepoints may work for smaller offences, but I have found that with Potter, such a penalty doesn't affect him in the least. That said, would you allow me to cane him again, if I deem it necessary?'

He looked over to McGonagall. She still didn't say anything; she merely raised her eyebrows and looked at Dumbledore. Snape thought, not for the first time, that he and the Head of Gryffindor had more in common than the pupils would ever suspect. He turned his head back to Dumbledore.

The headmaster peered at him over the rims of his spectacles. After a while, he spoke: 'I have known for years that the relationship between you and Harry is not at all how it should be between teacher and student. Nevertheless I am surprised, though somewhat grieved that you now seem to consider corporal punishment your preferred method of dealing with him. Simply send him to me if you think that more than a deduction of housepoints is needed.'

Snape couldn't resist it. He smirked. 'Well Albus, don't you think that Potter deserves a choice in that matter? It appeared to me yesterday that he is more frightened of your discipline then he is of mine.'

He could tell from Dumbledore's face that his sarcasm didn't go over well with the old wizard. _I am obviously not the only one who was surprised by the boy's choice yesterday,_ he thought.

Dumbledore looked as if he wanted to reply sharply but changed his mind. Instead he addressed the witch. 'Minerva, what is your opinion? After all, you are his head of house.'

She didn't hesitate. 'I think Severus has a point, Albus. More detentions don't make sense, and if Severus feels he needs to punish Mr Potter – though I must say that in _my _class he doesn't cause any problems – it seems only fair to me that the boy should decide for himself if he'd prefer Severus' dealing with him over being sent to you ... or to me. Just make it clear to him that it is _his_ decision.'

Defeated, Dumbledore shook his head. 'Very well…so be it. Until the end of Harry's detentions… I will talk to him about it this evening. Oh, and one more thing, Severus. Horace is ill, nothing serious, but he would rather not teach. Could you teach his Sixth Year NEWT class today?'

Snape nodded. 'Of course, Albus.'

He and McGonagall rose and left Dumbledore to his thoughts. On their way to the exit Snape said, 'I have to admit I was surprised you shared my opinion, Minerva.'

She gave him a hint of a smile. 'Don't forget Severus, that, like Albus, I am from the old generation, and unlike him I am not generally opposed to corporal punishment, though as I said, I can easily handle the students without the use of it. But I warn you, do not abuse your power, or I will make sure that _you_ feel like the chastened student when I am finished with you!'

Snape snorted. 'Do not worry Minerva. Have a pleasant day.'

He gave her a final nod before trudging down to his office. Settling behind his desk, Snape thought about the next lesson he was going to present while he waited for Potter to turn up to be healed. However, the boy didn't come. Irritated, Snape looked at his watch. He needed to leave shortly for his lesson, and here he was, waiting for Potter to turn up! Although Potter hadn't explicitly promised to come, Snape hadn't been doubtful about it. After all, the boy had said that he would see how he felt the next morning, and Snape knew that Potter's backside still had to hurt considerably. The boy had to be acting out of pure defiance and arrogance. And he had just told the headmaster that Potter had been repentant and held no grudge! Feeling angry, he headed for the classroom.

The door to the classroom stood open. Approaching, he could hear Draco's voice.

'Care for a soft cushion for your chair, Potter?'

The Slytherins roared with laughter and Snape also smirked. Last night he would not have been so amused, but any pity he may have felt for the boy directly after the obvious ordeal had disappeared in the last quarter of an hour. He entered the room, and the class fell silent.

'Quills out and wands away.'

He had decided on lecturing them about the theory of healing spells. Potter's obvious ignorance and helplesssness from the day before had unsettled him more than he would admit, due to the troubled state of things. It was a subject that was handled a little hesitatly at Hogwarts, as the staff wanted the pupils to go to the hospital wing instead of experimenting around after any mishaps from hexing each other. Therefore Snape decided to proceed with great care. He gave a casual flick of his wand, and the word 'Healing' appeared on the blackboard.

'What you always have to keep in mind," he began, "before you even think about healing, is to assess a situation correctly. If you don't, you can easily do more harm than good.'

His gaze lingered for a moment on Potter who blushed. The boy was probably thinking about the charm on the cane, Snape thought, and although this hadn't been on his mind at that particular moment, he felt grim satisfaction. The Professor continued his lecture:

'Is healing urgent or can you wait for a more qualified healer? Are you dealing with an ordinary wound or a wound caused by Dark magic? How can you tell?'

He looked around the class while he spoke slowly, pleased to see his students listening attentively. Draco was hanging on his every word. After all, his professor's healing had saved his life. Granger was absorbing his lecture as well. But that was nothing new.

However, Weasley had a concentrated look on his face, and that was _definitely_ something new. And Potter ... Snape froze as anger rose inside him again. Potter, of all students, was sittting on his chair, his head hanging down with his eyes closed.

'Potter!'

Potter's head jumped up and the boy looked at him with a sheepish expression on his face.

'Do you find what I have to say on healing spells so boring that you fall asleep in my class?'

'I didn't ...'

Snape was livid.

'Your arrogance is overwhelming, Potter. Ten points from Gryffindor.'

Potter closed his mouth and glared at him before quickly looking down at his desk. Snape resumed his lecture, and ignored him for the rest of the lesson. The boy busied himself by taking notes and didn't look up again, not even as he left in haste as soon as Snape had dismissed the class.

A sardonic smile appeared on the man's face after the students had left. Potter was in for a great surprise in the Potions classroom. Last night he would have expected the boy to come clean and hand the Potions book over to him. But given Potter's present behaviour, he wasn't so sure any more. One way or the other, he would take possession of his old textbook again.

At any rate, the following Potions lesson promised to be anything but dull.


	6. Potions

**Thanks to everybody who left a review! It is so interesting for me to read what you think!**

**And a great thanks goes again to my beta, JadeSullivan!**

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Snape stood outside the door of the Potions classroom. From inside he could hear the students' voices as they prepared themselves for the lesson as well as chatted about irrelevant issues. He opened the door and stood in the doorframe, waiting for the pupils to notice him. When they did, all conversations ceased at once.

'Professor Slughorn is not feeling well at the moment,' Snape said casually as he made his way to the front-desk. 'He has asked me to teach this class for him today.'

He could see that Potter blanched; in fact, the boy's facial expression was priceless.

Snape stood beside Slughorn's desk and scrutinized the class, his gaze resting on Potter a bit longer than on the others. The silence in the classroom was absolute until he began to speak in a quiet voice.

'As most of you have attended my Defence class as well, I have decided to further our discussion. You will be brewing a healing potion today. Though it is one of the easier healing potions, you may find it a bit complicated, as healing potions are among the most difficult to brew. However, as this is supposed to be a NEWT level class, you all should be able to do it, unless you managed to scrape by with a barely legitimized Exceeds Expectations, that is.'

He smirked and and caught Potter's eye. The boy glared at him, just as he had expected.

'Open your books to page 315 and begin,' Snape commanded.

A rustling noise filled the classroom as everybody thumbed through their books to find the right page. Finally the class fell silent again, and Snape looked over to Potter. The boy was sharing a book with Weasley, and Snape thought that he seemed slightly hesitant to use the book that had caused him so much trouble. However, the teacher wasn't satisfied with this. He wanted Potter to hand the book over. Given the anger this particular pupil had already caused him this morning, he couldn't resist provoking the boy.

'What's this over here?' Snape walked over to their table, smirking cruelly. 'Can't afford your own book, Weasley?'

Weasley blushed angrily. And Snape actually felt a small, unexpected pang of sorrow for him; after all he knew what it was like to be looked down on due to owning shabby things. But as he had expected, Weasley's fury was nothing compared to Potter's, who glared at him hotly. 'This _is_ Ron's book… I forgot mine!' Potter spat.

'Is that so, Potter?' Snape didn't believe for a second that the boy had simply forgotten his book and wondered how he could even think he would get away with this lie.

'Five points from Gryffindor for not even being able to come to class prepared.' He went to the cupboard, looked inside and saw at once a battered-looking copy of _Advanced Potion Making_ that looked very familiar. He picked it up and, thinking that Potter had preferred not to hand the book over personally but secretely put it back into the cupboard, he decided that he could accept that. However, on a second look he noted that something was wrong. He flipped quickly through the pages and realized angrily that it was a brand new book just bound with his own, old cover. Potter must have exchanged the covers on purpose to conceal the fact he was using his old book. Snape wondered briefly when Potter had comitted this act of fraud, if at the beginning of the school year or just now, but then he decided angrily that he didn't care. It made no difference.

He violently dropped the book on the desk in front of Potter.

'Here Potter, use this. It looks despicable from the outside but _amazingly_ clean on the inside.'

His eyes bore into Potter's. The boy gulped, obviously aware that Snape couldn't be fooled.

'Thanks,' Potter muttered, quickly opened the book to the right page and started on his potion.

Snape walked around the classroom as he always did, though Potter's place was the one he stopped by most. He could tell the boy was very nervous and couldn't concentrate sufficiently. With the amount of glances the boy shot toward him, he wasn't surprised when Potter skipped a line in the instructions. At once his potion, that was supposed to be a light blue liquid, turned acid-green and had the consistency of thick glue.

'Shit,' Potter muttered under his breath.

'Language, Potter.' Snape said as he looked into Potter's cauldron. 'I wonder… how exactly _did _you make it into this NEWT class? It's shocking that you have managed to remain in here without Professor Slughorn throwing you out due to incompetence.'

The class was silent; one could have heard a feather fall. All eyes were peering uncomfortably into cauldrons, but it was obvious that everybody was listening intensely.

'Maybe I display more competence with Professor Slughorn, since he actually tries to teach me instead of just offending me,' Potter threw at him, his eyes flashing.

The absolute silence in the room became even more intense. Snape was livid. True, he had not expected Potter to confess using tips out of his old Potions text, not with everybody listening, but he hadn't been pepared for Potter's impertinence either, blaming _him_ for his own inaptitude. He didn't answer at once but just stared at the insolent boy, who stood behind his desk, hands clenched into fists as he glared back at him.

'Potter, I don't know if you think that just because you have already been assigned as many detentions with me as as you can possibly receive, you can be as insolent as you wish,' Snape finally said in a dangerous whisper that was just loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, 'but be assured that I can find numerous ways to punish you, especially one of them you will not like at all. Do I make myself absolutely clear?'

Potter bit his lip and didn't answer. At the other side of the room, Draco snickered, which caused Potter to blush and avert his eyes. Without saying a word he sat down.

Snape snorted before sweeping over to Malfoy to inspect his potion, confident that he wouldn't hear any more insolence from Potter until the end of the lesson.

He flipped his head around at the sound of the familiar grumble.

Perhaps he was wrong…

'I knew there was something truly enjoyable missing in Potions class this year…' As all the students still hardly dared to breathe, Potter's sarcastic muttering to Weasley was loud enough for everybody to hear.

For Snape this was the final straw.

'Stay after class, Potter.'

Potter paled. Convinced that he had finally succeeded in making the boy shut up for the remainder of the class, Snape began his final round of inspecting the more or less satisfying results of his students. From the corner of his eye he saw Potter scribbling a note on a piece of parchment and pass it to his friends, who, after reading it, just shrugged and looked at him with helpless and worried expressions. Normally Snape wasn't one to tolerate the passing of notes in class, but this time he ignored it. In fact he was rather amused because he was almost certain of the content.

'All right, clean up your places and botttle a sample,' he said when the bell rang and sat down behind his desk. The students hastened to do what they were told and most pupils left the classroom hurriedly, placing their labeled vials on Snape's desk as they passed it. Potter's friends, however, lingered a bit longer, obviously reluctant to leave him alone.

'Granger, Weasley, out! _Now_!' Snape barked, and after a last pitiful glance at Potter, they fled.

The teacher knew they were probably expecting him to cane Potter right now, and in fact, he was tempted to do so. After all Albus had given him permission! But the headmaster had also said that he would talk to Potter this evening about Snape's authority in this regard, and Snape wanted this talk to take place before. Besides, in spite of his anger at the boy, he would not cane him before his backside had healed. However, as Potter had thrown his offer to heal him right back in his face he certainly wasn't going to offer a second time. So the professor figured he had to wait for a few days until he could take the cane out of the cupboard, but he was determined to make the boy already feel the anticipation. He watched Potter as he got up from his chair and hesitantly walked towards Snape's desk.

'All right, Potter,' Snape said, as he slowly stood up. 'I will be back in 15 minutes, and I will deal with you then. Meanwhile I want you to clean out the classroom cupboard. Take everything out, clean the shelves and the inside of cupboard, and put everything back inside in nice order. Those are all things I need, and I won't waste my time looking for them simply because you produced a mess. Understood?' He conjured a bucket with soapy water and some rags out of thin air. 'Begin now. I want everything finished when I come back.'

'Yes, sir.' Potter replied. Snape nodded and left the classroom. To his annoyance, the first thing he saw after closing the door behind him was Potter's fanclub right at the opposite side of the corridor staring at him wide-eyed.

'Granger and Weasley! I will not tolerate your lurking in front of my door. That's ten points from Gryffindor!' he shouted and was pleased to see them scurry away in haste.

He walked next door into his office and looked at his watch. Fifteen minutes seemed an appropriate time to let Potter stew, sufficient to clean the cupboard and find the cane. And maybe the boy was inelligent enough to make up his mind about how he wished to proceed regarding his Potions textbook. To be fair, Snape finally decided that Potter couldn't have been expected to give him the book during the actual lesson. After all, it was possible that he had planned to give it to him in private.

He would give the boy another chance, and if Potter took it, Snape was determined not to say anything about the book anymore. The professor sighed and scanned the headlines of the Daily Prophet, sighing when he found nothing interesting. Finally, the quarter of an hour had passed and he went back to the adjacent classroom.

When he entered the room, Potter approached the front desk choking out in a polite tone, 'I've just finished, sir.'

Snape nodded and silently picked up the tattered book that still lay on his pupil's desk.

'Do you have anything to say to me, Potter?' he asked, his voice neutral.

'No, sir.' Potter said in a small voice. Snape couldn't believe this stubbornness and tried again.

'Potter, there are many things that I will not tolerate; insolence is one of them. Another is lying. Now… _what_ do you have to say to me?'

Potter just looked at him and silently shook his head. Snape couldn't believe that the boy still refused to come clean. Immediately, his temper coiled. So much for second chances…

Snape's eyes flashed. 'Hand over your school bag.'

Potter flinched and slowly made his way over to his bag, but instead of bringing the whole satchel over to him, he simply unpacked his Potions text, walked back over to him and held the book out to him.

'I think this is what you're looking for, isn't it?' he offered quietly, not meeting Snape's eyes.

'Indeed it is, Potter,' Snape said slowly, taking the book and flipping through the pages. He placed both books close to each other and exchanged the book covers in just the way Potter had done at some time in the past. He shoved the new book towards Potter. 'This is yours, I believe.'

Potter nodded and looked at it miserably.

Snape's voice was a dangerous whisper: 'I cannot believe, Potter, that you still wanted to use the other book. You tried to convince the headmaster and me that you were _oh so_ sorry about using an unknown spell. Now had you been honest about that, wouldn't it have been the normal reaction to come clean and hand the book over immediately? No, you not only lied to me in the bathroom but also just a minute ago.'

'But I only wanted to use the book for Potions! I didn't want to try out any other unkown spells!' Potter protested.

'Your arrogance is almost offensive, Potter. Do you take me for an idiot? Did you think I would not find out, even if you had had class today with Professor Slughorn?' Snape's voice gradually increased in volume.

Potter shook his head vehemently. He seemed to struggle internally until he finally spoke.

'I want to become an auror, and I need a good Potions mark, sir,' he mumbled, staring at his feet. 'And it was so easy with the Potions tips inside. I guess I just thought it was worth the risk...' His voice faded.

'Worth the risk…' Snape repeated, his face was expressionless. 'Well Potter, you are certainly going to find out if it was _worth the risk_, for you are going to be punished for it, as well as for your insolence in today's class.'

_Good_, Snape thought with grim satisfaction, when he saw Potter glance over to the cupboard. _He knows what to expect._

He continued, 'But not today. You may go to lunch now.'

Potter stood, rooted to the spot, staring at him.

'Potter, what part of "go to lunch now" confused you? _Go_. I clearly stated I would punish you another day.'

'Yes sir,' Potter muttered. He collected his things and left the classroom in haste.

'Worth the risk…' Snape repeated slowly once more to himself.

For once, Potter had seemed to be honest, and a part of Snape could even understand the boy's motivation. Would he have done the same in Potter's place? The man shook his head. There was no way he could have been stupid enough to pass up so many chances to redeem himself.

It didn't matter if he understood the reasons for Potter's behaviour. He would not tolerate it.


	7. Next morning

Snape had a bad night. Nightmares haunted him. There were many nights during which he could only find sleep after a dreamless sleep potion, but he kept himself strictly disciplined, not allowing himself said potion more than twice a week. It was not surprising that he could not sleep well due to the constant strain of being a spy. And this was such a night where the sad memories of his past demanded their tribute.

Shortly before dawn, the birds started singing. Opposed to common belief among students, his private quarters were not in the dungeons, and he could actually hear them. This morning, he felt almost relieved to get up.

He headed towards his office and prepared himself a strong tea. On his desk lay another pile of essays waiting for him, and he wondered not for the first time what in the name of Merlin caused him to give his students a great deal of homework when it meant that he would be doomed to read that lot of parchment filled with the output of his students' stupidity.

Sighing he began marking them, which didn't help to improve his mood.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door. Part of Severus was glad to have a reason to leave that collection of nonsense on his desk, but another part of him knew that a knock at this time of the day could only mean trouble.

Sighing, he stood up, walked to the door and opened it. Before him stood ... Potter, who was pale with dark shadows under his eyes, similar to the ones Snape had spotted under his own eyes in the mirror this morning.

The sight of Potter at this early hour didn't improve his mood either.

Even if Potter were to die he would likely stay behind as a ghost just to be able to haunt him night and day, Severus thought bitterly. Shuddering at the mere thought, he peered at his student, brows furrowed.

'Erm...good morning, sir,' the boy began awkwardly. 'Sorry for bothering you so early, but I just wanted to ask, erm, can I talk to you ... please?'

Not saying a word, Snape just stepped aside to let Potter pass. Silently he pointed to the chair in front of his desk before he settled behind it, picking up his mug of steaming tea. He took a great gulp before setting his mug down and glancing at Potter, who was fidgeting in his chair.

'What could have possibly brought you here at this early hour, Potter?' he inquired.

Potter opened his mouth to speak then closed it again. Shuffling his feet, he looked down at hs hands. Finally, after drawing in a deep breath, he raised his head again and with visible effort made eye-contact and started to speak.

'Sir, I wanted to thank you ... for healing Malfoy. I'm glad it was you who came in; I don't know if many people would have been able to perform the countercurse so quickly, and if you hadn't, well I'd probably be in Azkaban right now,' he said in a small voice and looked down at his hands again.

Snape was surprised, he definitely hadn't expected Potter to thank him or appreciate what he had done; although, he reminded himself, Potter had been to see the headmaster the evening before. Albus must have told the boy that thanking him was appropriate and overdue. And, he thought a bit cynically, Potter usually listened to Albus, very unlike the attitude that the boy displayed in Potions.

Severus merely peered at the boy. After a while Potter swallowed and continued.

'And yesterday, in the Defence lesson, when I had my eyes closed, it wasn't that I didn't care, it really wasn't!' he said, looking up again. 'It was just when you spoke about wounds caused by Dark magic it all came back to me, and I realized for the first time that I really needed to thank you for saving Malfoy, well.. and me as well,' he finished.

Snape was perplexed. If the boy was telling the truth, and Snape, who was usually able to detect lies, was inclined to believe him, Potter had thought by himself without Albus' prompting.

Interacting with a grateful, almost humble Potter was a completely new experience for him and Snape felt a rush of uncertainty about how to react to this unfamiliar situation. To gain time he took another sip of his tea. Lowering the cup once more, he began to speak in a quiet, slightly sarcastic voice.

'You should know that had it been another teacher who found you, it is not very probable that you would have received a caning as it was I who persuaded the headmaster. He was very reluctant about the whole matter. Did you realize?'

Potter's facial expreesion changed to anger and hurt. Yes, that was far more familiar and Snape at once felt more at ease.

'No, sir, I didn't know. But I guessed it. And I still prefer it this way to being responsible for Malfoy's death…' his student replied indignantly. 'Besides,' he added as an afterthought and swallowed, 'it's my own fault that I suffered longer from it than necessary. It was stupid of me not to come to you yesterday and let you heal me.'

_Indeed it was__. _The professor had the feeling that he needed to acknowledge the boy's words; however, accepting apologies and gratitude had never been his strong point. So he merely nodded.

'All right, Potter. Is there anything else?'

Potter hesitated. 'Erm… yes maybe… About my punishment from yesterday...'

'What about it?'

'I was wondering when you were going to do it, and…' Potter swallowed audibly. '...what you plan on doing...'

Snape was satisfied by the sight of Potter's nervousness. After all, it had been his plan to let the boy feel the anticipation of a second caning, and he was sure that Albus had informed Potter about his authority in that matter.

He raised an eyebrow and asked, 'I think you do know rather well what I am intending to do, Potter, don't you?'

His student blushed. 'I think so, but couldn't you think of something else, though?' he muttered, sounding miserable as he stared at his feet.

The boy's request didn't leave Snape unmoved. And in fact, Potter's unexpected expression of gratitude as well as his admission of having acted stupidly had caused Severus' anger to evaporate. So, unlike before, he was not particularly keen on beating the boy again. However, there was no doubt that Potter expected to be caned and feared it. Snape was not a man who made empty threats, and he was convinced it would be fatal with this particular student to let him off his announced consequences.

'Perhaps I could… But I will not. Potter, you cannot complain that you haven't been warned. However, if you want I can also drag you to the headmaster once more, tell him about everything and leave it up to him to deal with you. Whichever you prefer.' He looked at Potter expectantly.

Potter met his eyes and Snape noticed, in slight irritation, that Potter was scrutinizing him with an odd, appraising look in his eyes. _What could possibly be going on inside that boy's head? _Snape wondered. But before he could think about it any longer, Potter shook his head miserably. Apparently, the boy had made up his mind.

'No, sir, I don't want you to take me to Professor Dumbledore again.'

This time Snape wasn't half as flabbergasted as the time before; in fact, he had half expected this decision. However, considering Potter's obvious fear of the cane, the boy's reasoning behind it was still a mystery to him. Yes, he knew that Albus could be very frightening; he had experienced that himself when he had still been a Death Eater, but Potter was the headmaster's favourite student, and Snape had never seen Dumbledore treat him any way but kindly. Albus was extremely lenient with Potter, always inclined to let him off for his various misdeeds.

'So, when are you going to do it?' Potter's nervous question interrupted his thoughts.

Snape gave him a thoughtful look. The dark rings under his student's eyes clearly betrayed his attempt at stoicism. It was obvious that the boy suffered quite a bit from the anticipation.

'What about doing it now?' Severus suggested.

Potter flinched. 'Erm ... Could you heal me before?' he asked hesitantly.

Snape had temporarily forgotten that indeed the remainder of the last swishing had been another reason for delaying the punishment and was glad that Potter asked. He nodded and stood up, accio'ed a small jar from the shelf behind Potter and walked around the desk.

'Drop your trousers, Potter,' he said simply.

Potter stood up and, a little hesitantly, bared his backside. Then he turned around to let his teacher have a look at it.

Snape was taken aback by what he saw and forced himself to swallow his shock. The boy's entire backside was still bruised. Ten tramline weals were clearly visible, and the flesh looked particularly nasty at the spots where the welts crossed each other. Snape could understand both Dumbledore's disapproval upon learning about the number of strokes delivered and Potter's desperate sobbing during the process. He shook his head. _Why had the boy suffered for so long?_

'Tell me Potter, do you enjoy playing the martyr?'

'No, I don't!' the boy answered indignantly.

'I see. What, may I ask, is your reason for running around like this any longer than you have to?'

'It's what every Muggle would have to go through...' Potter muttered after a short pause.

Snape just snorted. He started smearing the salve onto the bruises and muttered a healing spell repeatedly while waving his wand over each weal. Pleased to see a now pale bottom, he sent the jar magically back to the shelf and said 'Get dressed, Potter, and sit down to see if you are completely healed.'

Potter did as he was told. In fact, he allowed himself to drop into the chair rather than sitting down carefully, as he had gotten used to doing during the last two days.

'Feeling good as new, I take it?' Snape inquired, raising an eyebrow.

The boy nodded. 'Yeah, thanks,' he muttered.

'Ready for the next round, then, Potter?'

Potter flinched and certainly looked very unhappy, but he forced himself to stand up and say 'Yes, sir.'

'All right, let's go into the classroom then,' Snape said and swept over to the door. A quick glance over his shoulder when he opened the door showed him that his student was following him.

When they entered the dark room Snape casually flicked his wand causing all of the candles on the walls to light up. Closing the door behind Potter, just like before, he locked it, put silencing charms on it and with another flick of his wand, increased the height of the nearest desk. Then he walked over to the cupboard and took out the cane.

Upon returning he saw that, without being ordered to, Potter had taken off his robe and was holding out his wand.

Snape had always been distressed by the thought that this boy, of all people…mediocre, troublesome, arrogant, impulsive as he was, was supposed to save them all from the Dark Lord.

In this moment however, he had to admit, albeit reluctantly, that Potter did possess an important virtue: courage. Silent courage and determination to follow through with what was unavoidable and necessary. Sadly Snape remembered the talk he had had with Albus about the boy's fate and thought that this was a character trait that Potter indeed would need.

Forcing these thoughts out of his mind, Snape pocketed Potter's wand and nodded.

'Six strokes, Potter: four for attempting to keep the book and two more for your lack of respect in class. Bend over.'

Potter pulled his shirt out of his trousers, bunching the fabric up around his waist as he assumed his position over the heightened desk.

Snape flexed the cane while he watched Potter's movements. He felt a twinge of amusement as he thought that it would be obvious to any eyewitness that they both had aquired already a certain routine with the whole procedure. He saw that Potter spread his legs slightly to stabilize himself.

_Right you are, Potter, you will need it,_ he thought with the slightest trace of pity. He would lay the strokes on with vigour; after all this whacking was supposed to deter Potter from future mischief. Besides, he was sure that Potter was expecting to be hit hard, and he couldn't stand the thought that Potter might think he was going soft on him.

Potter flinched barely perceptively when Snape touched his buttocks with the cane to get his aim. Drawing his arm back, Snape swished the cane through the air.

_Crack._

His student winced but remained quiet.

'One.' Just as the time before Snape had decided on counting the strokes out loud. He meant for it to help and could only hope that Potter took it as such and didn't see it as extra cruelty on his part.

He tapped a little lower. He would try not to hit the same spot twice or let the weals cross each other again but knew that he probably wouldn't succeed completely. Bringing down the cane for the second time, he thought that the swishing noise probably was a punishment on its own for the delinquent.

'Two.'

He heard a brief grunt from the boy.

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack._

Potter gasped.

'Three.'

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack._

The sharp whack sent Potter on his toes, and the boy gasped again. Snape could see tears trickling down Potter's cheeks.

'Four.'

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack._

The cane hit its target a bit higher than Snape had intended and hit an already abused spot. Snape was sympathetic as he saw Potter jump from the pain of the blow and wriggle on the table.

'Five.' He didn't tell him to stop moving but waited quietly until the boy stilled.

Potter let out a rickety breath and steadied himself in his position once more, knuckles white from holding onto the desk for dear life.

_Tap. Whoosh. Crack._

Yes, that was aimed better. The forceful stroke obviously stung, but at least it had landed on a new spot as it had been intended to do. Potter emitted another grunt.

'Six.'

Observing Potter fervently, Snape put the cane down on the desk right beside the bent-over student, whose shirt was tucked back into his trousers with a quick flick of a wand.

Potter took this as his permission to rise. He quickly wiped the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hands before he slowly turned around and looked into his teacher's face, seemingly unconcerned.

Snape peered at him and then shook his head. 'Some way to start a day, isn't it,' he remarked dryly, giving Potter his wand back. 'Go on then, breakfast will begin shortly.'

At his mention of breakfast, Potter's stomach rumbled loudly. The boy grimaced.

'What is it, Potter?' Snape inquired.

'Oh, I dunno,' Potter retorted sarcastically. 'I was just trying to recall the happy memory of the last meal when I was able to enjoy sitting comfortably.'

Snape was amused. 'Nothing like a good reminiscence…' He cleared his throat. 'Tomorrow morning when you come for your detention, I will heal you, unless of course you want to repeat your Muggle experience,' he added.

'No I don't,' Potter muttered and went to the door.

Upon seeing the boy leave, Snape couldn't resist. 'Potter?'

'Yes, sir?'

'Do me a favour and stay out of trouble today, at least with me. Until we meet tomorrow in detention, I would like to enjoy a Potter-free moment.'

Potter muttered something as he left in haste.

It sounded suspiciously like, 'the feeling's mutual'.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

**First of all, I apologize that it has taken so long to update, the weather has just been too good...**

**Thanks to those of you who reviewed. I appreciate your feedback, so please ...!**


	8. An Interesting Read

Snape was conflicted as he watched Potter leave the room and close the door behind him. He was also slightly irritated by the boy's sarcastic answer to his own remark, but he decided to ignore it. Getting into an argument with Potter might destroy the boy's composed facade. Yes, Potter had looked at him seemingly unconcerned, but Snape wasn't to be fooled and knew Potter was upset about his punishment.

He shuddered when he imagined Potter wailing and crying hysterically; in those conditions, he wondered if he would be obligated to console the boy. That was a really horrible thought. Snape was glad that his student was trying to pull himself together; just like after the last caning, he felt a certain respect for the boy.

Readjusting the desk to its original height, Severus picked up the cane thoughtfully. He knew that Potter probably thought that he had enjoyed hitting him, but in reality Severus hoped that he wouldn't need to do so again. He decided not to leave the cane in the classroom any longer but lock it in his office.

When he turned around at the door to extinguish the lights, he noticed Potter's robe lying on a desk. Sighing, he picked it up.

Back in his office, after putting the cane away, Severus settled behind his desk and drank up the rest of his tea. _Well, thanks to Potter at least I'm fully awake now,_ he thought a bit amusedly.

He felt no desire to continue marking the homework essays on his desk. Instead his thoughts drifted back to Potter's sheepish face when the boy had thanked him for healing Draco Malfoy.

_I wonder if walking down here Potter suspected he would end up being caned..._ He sighed again. Picking up Potter's robe he left his office and headed for the Great Hall and for breakfast.

Upon entering he saw that Potter was already there with Granger and Weasley. Both boys were rapidly shoveling food into their mouths. Snape was amazed at the appetite of teenagers regardless of the circumstances, even when in pain. He approached Potter quietly from behind and heard Granger talking to the boy.

'... I was doing some homework in the common room and didn't see you pass. Too bad you weren't there, I could have helped you with yours. With all your detentions it'll be hard for you to keep up to date with your homework, I guess.'

Potter forced a smile. 'Yeah, you're right. Thanks for...'

At that moment, Weasley, who was sitting opposite to Granger and Potter, spotted him and choked on his food, staring wide-eyed. Snape suppressed a smirk.

'Mr Potter,' he said quietly. The boy turned his head around abruptly.

'You forgot your robe,' Snape said and held the dark, folded cloth out to his student. He could tell from Weasley's and Granger's facial expressions that they were adding one and one together in their heads.

'Oh,' Potter said, blushing a little as he took it and placed it on the bench beside him. 'I hadn't noticed. Erm, thanks for bringing it along'.

Snape nodded. 'You are welcome. Enjoy your meal, Mr Potter.'

'Yeah, thanks,' Potter muttered, 'you, too, sir.'

After another nod Snape walked away towards the teachers' table, satisfied that Potter hadn't been sulking but rather polite...by his standards anyway. He sat down between Albus and Minerva. Both of them were in deep conversation with their colleagues sitting on the other side and Snape was pleased that they obviously hadn't noticed his small encounter with Potter. Silently he filled up his plate and started eating.

'Severus, good morning!' Dumbleore finally greeted him.

'Good morning, Albus. Minerva,' he nodded at both of them who had ceased their other conversations.

The headmaster looked at him and hesitated a bit before he spoke. 'Severus, as you know I talked to Harry last night. Harry knows now that you have the authority to cane him.'

'Does he?' Snape remarked dryly. He was thoroughly enjoying this situation. Normally it was Albus who decided to keep facts to himself, so it made a pleasant change to leave Albus unsuspecting of what had happened. Knowing that Albus would expect more of a reaction he asked, 'So, how did he react? Did he have another one of his famous temper tantrums?'

'No.' Albus looked at him seriously. 'I don't think I have to tell you that Harry didn't like the idea, but he accepted it in the end. And Severus – I do owe you an apology.'

Snape raised his eybrows. 'What for?'

Albus didn't avert his eyes. 'For suspecting you had abused your authority while punishing Harry. I had thought that you let personal antipathy overrule the professional handing out of punishment. I am sorry.'

Snape felt rather uncomfortable. He wasn't used to Albus apologising to him; in fact, he wasn't used to _anybody_ apologizing to him. Furthermore, after seeing the marks he had left with the cane on Potter's backside, he wasn't so sure whether the headmaster's original suspicions weren't justified.

Not wanting to admit this he asked, 'What made you change your mind?'

'Harry,' Albus answered calmly. 'I asked him whether he thought he had reason to complain about the way you had meted out the punishment.'

Snape wasn't pleased to hear that Albus had more or less encouraged Potter to complain about him. However, his annoyance failed to dominate the utter astonishment he felt.

'And Potter answered "No"?' he asked incredulously.

Albus inclined his head. 'He did. To give you his exact answer, he said you had been hard on him, but not cruel.'

Snape silently shook his head in bewilderment. He would have liked to have made a sarcastic remark about Potter, but for once he couldn't think of what to say.

It was Albus who spoke next. 'Nevertheless, I truly hope that this one occasion will remain the _only_ one where the cane is used. I don't think you ought to use it in the future, Severus.'

Snape raised his eyebrows. 'I also hope I do not have to discipline Potter in that way again.'

He paused and was pleased to see satisfaction in the headmaster's face. With the faintest flicker of a smile he added dryly, 'However, I felt it necessary to cane the boy this morning.'

He thoroughly enjoyed the shocked expression on Albus' face. He heard Minerva put down her teacup on the table with an unnecessary clatter, but she still didn't say anything. Instead, she was looking over to the Gryffindor table. Albus and Severus followed her gaze. Potter was still eating breakfast, chatting with his friends.

'What did he do?' Dumbledore asked with a frown.

'Well,' Snape paused for a moment before he continued, 'I am not sure if I should tell you. After all, Potter seemed rather embarrassed about being sent to you and chose to be punished by me instead, in spite of knowing what was coming to him. I caned him, and as far as I am concerned, the affair is over and done with. So unless you insist...'

Snape was aware of the irony of this situation. He was acting like a defendant of Potter's discretion, but he knew - and judging by the knowing look that Minerva gave him, she did, too - that the main reason for his keeping quiet about Potter's latest misdeeds was just the fact that he enjoyed teasing Albus. He was sure that for the headmaster it was disturbing to think of Potter choosing to be beaten by his most hated professor over being sent to him. And this chance of winning one over on Albus was simply too good to miss.

Albus shook his head unhappily and looked down at his plate. Minerva gave Snape a hardly susceptible wink as she asked,

'How many did you give him this time?'

'Six.'

'I trust you healed him before?'

Snape nodded, glad that Potter had overcome his pride and asked, as he couldn't imagine what Minerva would have done with him if he hadn't. 'Of course.'

She nodded and looked at him intently as she said, 'Severus, as I said yesterday, if Mr Potter prefers a swishing handed out by you to other punishments, that's fine with me. I won't even ask what he did to deserve it. However, as his Head of House I want to be informed whenever it occurs.'

Snape inclined his head. 'As you wish, Minerva.'

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the afternoon Snape decided to finally read Potter's punishment essay. He settled behind his desk with a cup of tea and even treated himself to a few biscuits before he stretched out the rolls of parchment.

He had espected the essay to be an interesting read and he surely wasn't disappointed.

The first part mentioned Potter's interaction with his muggle relatives before he came to Hogwarts. Talking back and outbursts of accidental magic were punishable by locking the boy into his cupboard. Snape frowned while he read some examples of such disrespect that Potter had given.

Severus had met Petunia when she was a girl, and given what he remembered as well as what he had seen in Potter's mind during Occlumency lessons, he figured that a time-out in a cupboard would be preferrable to the presence of this woman. Potter's uncle didn't seem set very good example in controlling his temper. One moment, he might wildly shake the small boy in a fit of rage, and the next he wouldn't pursue the matter any further, especially after Potter had managed to escape his grasp, expecting to be punished.

_This boy hasn't received __consistent guidelines at all,_ Snape thought. _No wonder he has turned out the way he is. _

Potter then described the first time he lost his temper at Hogwarts, during a flying lesson with Madam Hooch:

'_So Madam __Hooch took Neville to the hospital wing to have his broken wrist tended, and she warned us that we'd get expelled if we went flying. However, when Malfoy stole Neville's remembrall and made fun of him, I snapped and followed him into the air to get it from him. I didn't really think about what I was doing. Malfoy threw the remembrall and I caught it after a dive. After I touched down, Prof. McGonagall was there and she told me to follow her. I was so desperate I couldn't even say anything because I thought I would be expelled. And then she knocked on a classroom door and asked Prof. Flitwick if she could borrow Wood. I am sure you'll find this really funny, but since I didn't know what she meant, I really thought I was going to get the cane then.' _

Snape indeed was amused as he imagined the frightened eleven-year-old. He made a mental note to ask Minerva if she knew what fear her words had caused. He carried on reading:

'_But in the end __I didn't and ended up as Seeker instead. I'm sure you don't approve that I wasn't punished on that occasion, but anyway, neither was Malfoy and he started it.' _

Snape paused again. Potter was right: he did not approve. The child had expected to be punished but had been rewarded instead. What a fatal mistake.

He sighed. It wasn't like Minerva to let students off their well-deserved punishments, but she lost her head when it came to Quidditch. He turned his eyes back to the parchment in his hand and raised his cup of tea for a sip:

'_I can think of another situation where my lack of control didn't have any consequences. In the summer before my third year I blew up my aunt.'_

Snape almost choked on his tea. Potter had blown up Petunia? This essay proved to be even more entertaining than he had hoped.

'_My uncle's sister Marge'_ – Snape was instantly disappointed – _'visited my relatives for a week. She doesn't know that I'm a wizard (my uncle told her I attend a school for criminal boys) she hates me and always tries to offend me...'_

Some words followed that were crossed out unreadable. Snape tapped the words with his wand. 'Distincto!' he muttered and the words became clear. _'...even worse than you do.'_

Snape snorted.

'_I had tried hard to control my temper for a week __because my uncle had promised to sign my Hogsmeade permission slip if I behaved, but on the last evening of her stay it was worse than usual. After talking badly about me she started on my parents, especially on my mother. That's when I blew her up. I grabbed my things and left. The Knight Bus picked me up and I ended up in Diagon Alley. There I met Mr Fudge. I couldn't believe that I wasn't punished for performing underage magic, but I reckon he was just glad I was still alive.' _

Snape picked up a biscuit. How well he remembered that year! They all had been so worried about Potter's safety and had done everything to keep Black out of Hogwarts. But Potter had been reckless as ever. And out of worry for his well-being, he had not been punished when he deserved it.

'_On the majority of occasions when I lost my temper__, I didn't get away with it, though.'_ Snape raised his eyebrows in disbelief. _'I can't even remember all the times you took Housepoints or gave me detention because I couldn't hold myself back when I felt provoked by something you did. I can remember shouting at you with Ron when you were teasing Hermione because of her hexed teeth, and we both got detention. I still think you were unfair and unkind to Hermione, but I reckon we shouldn't have called you those names.'_

Snape smirked. He remembered this scene very well too. True, it had not been very kind to mock a girl about something that might have been cause for embarassment in the past, but it really had been humorous. Besides, Granger hadn't struck him as vain before; she always seemed rather indifferent about her outer appearance.

'_Last year Prof. McGonagall lectured me on the necessity of keeping my temper under control. I had lost it in Umbridge__'s lesson, saying that Voldemort was back, and then I said she was lying and I shouted at her. She gave me a week's worth of detention and sent me to Prof. McGonagall, who said that I needed to be careful and keep my temper under control since Umbridge reported stuff to the ministry. The next time I got detention with Umbridge, Prof. McGonagall docked Housepoints as well, for losing my temper again. I know you probably agree with her, but I have to admit that I've found it rather unfair since. Having to slice my own hand open for hours should have been enough punishment.'_

He nodded silently and took another biscuit. He completely agreed with Minerva, who had first tried to convince Potter and then, when it proved fruitless, punished him, which unfortunately hadn't helped either.

'_After we had won the Quidditch match against Slytherin, Malfoy insulted Ron's family,__ which made me really angry, because they've always been nice to me. After that he insulted my mother. That's when I punched him and Umbridge gave me the Quidditch ban. I still think it wasn't fair, but anyway, you said you wouldn't discuss it and you wouldn't see it my way, anyway.'_

Snape frowned at the hinted accusation he found in these lines. He certainly didn't like that Draco had offended Lily, but he knew that Draco looked for anything provocative enough to wind Potter up, and Potter must have known this as well.

He continued reading. While writing, Potter seemed to have become aware that last year he had been even more short tempered than usual, as he mentioned a variety of occasions where he had shouted at his friends—who had put up with it—or at members of the staff, who had mostly verbally reprimanded him. Having witnessed Potter's attitude repeatedly, Snape hardly found anything new in this. However, he was taken aback when Potter described how he had destroyed Albus' office after returning from the Ministry. Yes, Albus had said that Potter had been devastated by the death of his godfather, which Snape could understand even though he had loathed the man, but Albus had not mentioned that Potter had used destruction as an outlet.

'_Pro__f. Dumbledore kept really cool and said "By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many." He didn't stop me. I'm still ashamed about it.'_

Shaking his head, Snape thought that this reaction was so typical of Albus. He had obviously been very understanding, which made it even stranger to think that Potter chose a caning over reporting to him for misbehaviour. _After vandalizing the headmaster's office, it can't get much worse,_ he thought.

'_I know that this year I couldn't hold back some disrespectful things I've said, but on the whole I think I have been more in control over myself than last year. _

_I didn't__ start the fight with Malfoy in the bathroom, and Malfoy tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on me, which he couldn't finish because my curse hit him. So I guess I can say I acted in self-defence. However, I admit that I wasn't in control of what I did and understand what Prof. Dumbledore said and why I had to be punished._

_Summing __everything up, I can say that there have been many times I have acted on impulse, and most of the time I have been punished for it, sometimes harshly (Umbridge's detentions, the Quidditch ban and my punishment today). I realize that I need to have more control over myself. I know it will not be easy for me but I will try to cooperate during these detentions as well as I can.'_

Snape dropped the parchment.

He was worried about Draco, who was getting more desperate each day. How could he be so foolish to even try to use the Cruciatus Curse? Snape was determined to talk to him about it.

And as for Potter, overall the essay had indicated that Potter indeed was rather repentant, but Snape was still pessimistic. The Potter genes combined with his poor excuse of an upbringing provided by that nightmare of a Muggle family would prove challenging to overcome.

The coming detentions were going to be difficult for both of them.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

Thanks to everybody who left a review. Please take the time to do so again!

And a big THANK YOU again to my beta, JadeSullivan!


	9. Temper Control

Snape sighed as he made his way down to the dungeons after breakfast. He knew that most students thought that he enjoyed the detentions they had to serve with him, but on the contrary, he definitely preferred to spend a quiet morning reading on his own.

He found a grim consolation in the thought that for Potter, this detention was going to be a thousand times worse. The boy had repeatedly glanced over at him during breakfast, completely miserable. And Severus found that Potter, in his arrogance, was pathetic: pondering about the cruelty of not being allowed to participate in a Quidditch match when there were so many others who had to cope with never having made it onto the team in the first place.

But Snape had to admit that the boy had talent – just like his father, unfortunately. He briefly wondered if Potter had ever thought about how privileged he had been to play Seeker his first year. Probably not, Snape concluded bitterly. Just like his father, the boy most likely assumed that he was entitled to all the admiration and affection of his housemates and took it for granted.

_They won't be so impressed with you today after Gryffindor __loses the match,_ Snape thought, feeling satisfied.

He had already prepared his office for Potter's detention the evening before and was just taking down two vials from a shelf in the back corner when he heard Potter knock.

'Enter,' he called, looking over his shoulder. .

Potter let himself in and closed the door, searching n the office until he spotted him in the corner. But the boy still didn't say anything, just stared at him and the shelf, as if he had never been there before. Snape was more than a little irritated and broke the silence.

'If you have finished gawking and making faces, Potter, don't you think a "Good morning, sir" would be appropriate?'

'Er, yeah, good morning, sir,' Potter muttered. 'Sorry, I was ... erm, distracted.'

Foolish boy.

'So I noticed,' Snape drawled sarcastically. 'I would recommend that you cease being distracted in my presence, otherwise this is going to be a very long detention. Do you understand me?'

'Yes,' Potter hissed between his teeth.

'Yes, what?' Snape asked, his tone dangerously hushed.

'Yes, _sir_...' Potter spat.

Snape frowned at him. The boy's lack of respect was as atrocious as ever. 'I would also recommend watching your tone with me.'

Potter's jaw pulsed as if he was grinding his teeth.

Snape decided to change the subject.

'Do you want me to heal you?'

He was surprised when Potter only stared at him; after all he had announced the day before that he would do so if Potter wanted.

'Yes, I do,' was all Potter said, his tone provocative.

In all his years as Head of Slytherin House, Snape had gained rather a fair amount of experience with teenagers, but Potter's behaviour was above his understanding. The boy had allowed Severus to heal him the day before; he had quietly accepted his punishment afterwards and had, generally speaking, acted respectfully towards him. What was the matter with him now? The boy was impossible.

However, deciding to ignore Potter's present attitude he merely said, 'Drop your trousers, then,' and accioed his jar of healing salve.

When he saw the brief look of bewilderment on his pupil's face, it occurred to him that Potter probably hadn't expected him to keep his word. How infuriating. But rather unsurprising given Potter's adversity to trusting anyone but himself and his little friends. And an anonymous book of unknown spells, apparently...

Potter slipped off his robe, did as he was told and silently turned around, revealing his backside. This time Snape was prepared for the sight. . Yes, there was a fair amount of bruising and six tramline weals were clearly visible. With the exception of one stripe, the rest were evenly displayed, almost parallel, and didn't cross each other. It did not look nearly as bad as the last time.

_If the boy doesn't change his behaviour,_ Snape thought wryly, _I'll end up being an expert at caning._ However, he knew he had been telling the truth when he had told Albus that he hoped he wouldn't have to do this again.

Carefully, Severus began smearing salve over the swollen skin.

'So, Potter,' he asked, unable to help himself, 'was it worth the risk?'

There was no answer. He stilled his fingers. Nothing was more maddening than outright silence from a habitually cheeky teenager.

'Mr Potter, I expect an answer. Was it worth the risk?'

'Well, it could have worked out!' Potter retorted defiantly.

Snape snorted and continued spreading salve. 'Yes, it could have, Potter,' he said, 'if I were a complete idiot.'

Again, there was no answer. The boy was pressing his luck. But rather than provoke an exhausting, unnecessary quarrel, Severus simply muttered a healing spell and ran his wand over the weals until they vanished.

'There you are, Potter,' Snape said matter-of-factly. 'You may get dressed again.'

Potter quickly pulled up and fastened his trousers before turning around. 'Thank you, sir,' he said quietly, meeting Snape's eyes. The man merely nodded and settled behind his desk.

'Take a seat, then, Potter.'

He watched intensely as his student quickly dropped into the chair opposite his desk, not bothering to hide his relief of being freed from discomfort. Snape didn't speak but merely peered at him, smirking significantly when Potter started to fidget. Just as Snape had foreseen, the boy couldn't stand the silence any longer.

'Sir, when you told Professor Slughorn about the book...how did he react?'

Snape raised his eyebrows. 'What makes you so certain I told him, Mr Potter?'

Potter stared at him in disbelief. 'You didn't?'

'Indeed I did not,' Snape said quietly.

'But...why?' Potter stammered, his astonishment clearly written on his face.

_Because Slughorn would want to see it and would immediately know it was my old book__. Knowing the lout, he might even tell you about it..._ Of course there was no way Snape would ever let Potter know this. Instead, he smirked.

'I suppose I didn't want to miss the fun of watching you struggling in Potions, trying to keep up your fame of natural talent... And besides, it didn't occur to me to ruin your chance of – how did you put it – "displaying your competence with a teacher who is trying to teach you".'

He was rather satisfied when he saw Potter blush. Not waiting for an answer from the boy, Severus placed the vials he had picked up earlier on the table in front of him and continued speaking.

'I read your essay, Potter. As I had assumed, it was an interesting read indeed, and I truly believe that you will find these detentions quite necessary. Shall we get started then?'

'Yes, sir,' Potter muttered.

Snape shoved the taller of the vials towards him. 'Drink that, Potter.'

Potter stared at him, wide-eyed, and made no move to obey.

'Potter,' Snape said in his quiet, dangerous voice, 'I seem to remember that you concluded your essay with the promise that you would cooperate as well as you could. Am I to believe that following the simple order to drink a potion is above your abilities?'

Potter swallowed and grabbed the bottle, carefully uncorking it.

Snape leered triumphantly.

'What is it?' the boy asked, frowning as he tilted the vial back and forth a bit.

'An invention of mine,' Snape answered. Potter still hesitated, but, prompted by a glare from Severus, he finally emptied the vial and looked up at him, waiting.

Snape opened the desk drawer and took out a bracelet. 'Give me your arm, Potter.' He put the bracelet around Potter's wrist, and after he gave a flick of his wand, the bracelet started to gleam a light green.

'I borrowed the bracelet from Madam Pomfrey. It measures your pulse. It should be dark green now, but it appears that you already have a slightly quickened pulse. Nervous, Potter?' he smirked.

Potter scowled.

Snape continued, 'It will take a few minutes until the potion will begin working,' he explained. 'What it does is simply amplify any emotion you feel. So your task during this detention will be to sustain the bracelet's colour.'

Potter nodded nervously. 'What's in the other vial...sir?' he asked hesitantly.

'The antidote,' Snape answered. 'The effects of the other potion will wear off after a while on its own, but given your temper I thought it wise to have something here just in case.' He looked at Potter and sneered. Again, the opportunity was simply too good let pass. 'You should know, Potter, I would not be as kind as the headmaster should you start vandalizing my office.'

Potter blushed a second time--a splotchy rose colour. Predictably, Snape was rather enjoying this and congratulated himself on his idea of using the combination of the potion and bracelet. Now his task would be to irritate Potter. And he knew it would not be difficult in the least.

'Oh, I see we're getting started...' he remarked as he looked at Potter's bracelet, which had turned completely yellow. 'Control yourself, Potter. Let it turn green again.'

'Would you mind telling me how I'm supposed to do that?' the boy nearly shouted. The bracelet turned orange.

_He really hasn't got a clue how to do this on his own,_ Snape thought and instructed, 'Concentrate, Potter. First on your breathing, breathe regularly.'

Unconsciously abandoning his quest for pure jollity, Snape attentively watched both Potter's face and the bracelet. The boy's expression was far from calm and the orange didn't change even remotely back to yellow. Couldn't the boy even follow just one simple instruction?

'You're not doing it, Potter. I'd rather not know what you are thinking about, but it's something apart from breathing and you _will_ ban the thought from your mind now.'

His rebuke didn't help in the least. Potter glanced at his bracelet, which had turned an even deeper shade of orange. It seemed that the boy was working himself up, and Snape forced back his irritation. It was obvious that Potter couldn't do this himself and needed his help. So he spoke in a deliberate calm tone

'Close your eyes Potter. Take a deep breath and try to feel the air going through your body. Then exhale slowly.'

He saw Potter close his eyes and heard him inhale deeply. Slowly, very slowly, the orange colour lightened. When the bracelet had faded back to yellow he told the boy to open his eyes. Upon seeing the transformation, his pupil looked up, pleased with himself.

A rare, shining expression from Potter, Snape noted.

'Well, that's a start. Now concentrate on your heartbeat. Place your hand on your heart, feel your pulse and try to slow it down a little,' Snape ordered.

'But how..?'

Snpae rolled his eyes. 'You _do_ call yourself a wizard, Potter, do you not? If you concentrate you will have more control over your body than the average muggle.'

Obviously.

He saw the bracelet turn orange almost at once. _It really doesn't take a lot to irritate this boy,_ Snape thought, still watching Potter attentively; he'd closed his eyes and placed his right hand over his heart as instructed. Potter was obviously concentrating hard...and astoundingly, with success. Slowly, the bracelet turned yellow, then back to green.

'There you go. You can open your eyes,' Snape said calmly.

Triumphantly, Potter looked up at him.

'That certainly was a start,' Snape said coolly. 'However, in real life you will not always have a peaceful amount of time to force yourself to concentrate; instead, you'll have to control your emotions among whatever you are doing. So come along.' He pointed to a table in the corner of the room, which he had prepared the evening before. It had a cauldron, a cutting board and a dagger lying on top. 'You will help me brew while you continue practising.'

Potter stared at him open-mouthed. His expression was priceless. Snape smirked as he glanced at Potter's bracelet. It was throbbing with a red glow. 'I see you are truly excited about the possibility of working alongside me, Potter,' he remarked. His enjoyment at Potter's expense returned with ease.

The bracelet's shade of red intensified. Potter closed his eyes and tried to calm down again. When he had finally managed it, he stiffly walked over to the other table.

Snape knew that making Potter brew a potion in his presence was bound to put the boy under emotional stress; in fact, this had been the plan. As soon as he started criticising Potter's work, inserting some remarks about what was expected of a NEWT student, the chance of Potter calming down completely was sparse. Except for some short intervals of time, the bracelet alternated constantly between orange and red.

Snape had expected this.

At one o'clock he finally sighed. It was useless to continue further.

'I think that will do.' He picked up the smaller vial. 'Drink this, Potter.'

Potter emptied the vial in haste, smiling crookedly in relief as the tension and coiled emotion slowly left his body. He yanked off the bracelet and then peered into the cauldron.

'It's the potion I drank, isn't it?' he asked.

Snape inclined his head. 'It is, and I am rather certain we will need quite a lot of it.'

His student's face clearly showed his lack of enthusiasm, until he suddenly brightened.

'Professor?' he asked hesitantly. 'I was wondering...could I take some of the potion with me? So I can practise until next week?'

Snape narrowed his eyes into dark slits, flabbergasted and undoubtedly suspicious. Potter hadn't bothered to practise during their Occlumency lessons and repeatedly lied to him about it, despite being told repeatedly just how important these lessons were.

Doubtfully, Severus raised his eyebrows and remarked, 'You want to practise, Potter? I find _that_ hard to believe.'

Potter shuffled his feet. 'Well, you said it was my responsibility how many detentions I get. So if I have the chance, I'd rather practise a bit on my own, or maybe with Hermione...' he muttered.

There was an awkward silence. Snape imagined that Potter was eager to end the detention; on the other hand he was reluctant to trust Potter with the potion. It was his own invention and unavailable for purchase. If Potter used it for a prank or sold it to the Weasley twins, it could lead to severe consequences, for him as well. He didn't even want to imagine what might happen if either occurred, aside from the sound thrashing he would administer to Potter's sorry rear end.

'I suppose you know what I would do with you if you use the potion for anything else but your own practise, like slipping it into someone's drink, perhaps?'

Potter hesitated for a moment, swallowed hard and finally nodded.

Snape made up his mind. He would consent to Potter's request, but there was no way he would put his trust in this immature boy.

'All right,' he said slowly. 'Ask Miss Granger if she will agree to help you. If she does, she is to come to me in the afternoon. I will give her the potions and teach her the bracelet's activation spell as well as whatever else she will need to know. You must never practise alone, Potter—"

'I won't...'

'And as I don't yet trust your obedience,' Snape continued, 'Miss Granger will keep the potions. I have the faint hope that she at least will have enough sense to understand that it will be her task to prevent you from having a heart-attack.'

To his surprise Potter didn't protest, but merely answered, 'Yes, sir.' However, Snape understood the reason behind it when the boy hastily went on, 'May I leave, then?'

He smirked. 'Why the hurry, Potter? Are you that eager to console your defeated team that you let down?'

Judging by the boy's instant stormy expression, he had obviously touched a nerve. 'They won't be defeated; they're a great team, even without me!' Potter spat at him. 'We had a great practise session yesterday, and anyway, it wasn't my decision not to play today ... it was yours.'

Snape bristled at the insolence. Yes, the boy definitely needed these detentions. Without a doubt.

'Watch your tone, Potter,' Snape said sharply, but then he continued more calmly, 'No, it wasn't your decision not to play, but it was still your fault, was it not?'

It wasn't a question.

Potter stared at his feet. 'You know it was,' he admitted reluctantly and forced himself to meet Snape's eyes again.

After a moment, Severus nodded. 'And so do you. Dismissed, Potter'.


	10. Disastrous Detention

**So FINALLY I have updated this story. I am so sorry it has taken me so long. I know how tiring it is if you follow a story and it takes ages for the updates, I really do. So please don't hate me.**

**I have a new beta now and so I would like to thank my old beta, JadeSullivan, a last time for all her help in the past and thank my new beta, kbinnz, for the help with this chapter.**

**And, last but not least, I thank everybody who still follows this story and has not given up! I really appreciate it ... even more if you leave a review ;)**

Snape sighed as the door closed behind Potter. Had this detention been a success? Maybe, but probably quite a few more would be needed until the boy would have his temper under control.

Deciding he deserved a break he went into his private quarters to spend a few hours reading on his couch. It wasn't until later in the afternoon when he decided to head back into his office to attack the school-work he still had to do. A short while later there was a knock on the door.

'Come in,' he called.

The door slowly opened and Granger entered the room.

'Good afternoon, sir,' she greeted him politely, meeting his eyes. Her gaze travelled over the jars on his shelves, just as Potter's had done a few hours before.

However, there was an obvious difference in their facial expressions: where Potter had displayed revulsion, her face merely betrayed interest. Snape wasn't surprised; actually he would have expected even more open curiosity from her. After all, she had never been in his office before, or had she?

Snape had never really found out who had stolen the Boomslang skin from his private store four years prior but was sure it had to have been Potter, Weasley or Granger. Not that it made much difference… But somehow it still preyed on his mind that the culprit had never been discovered and brought to justice.

'Miss Granger,' he answered, inclining his head. 'Please take a seat.'

'Thank you, sir,' she answered as she lowered herself into the opposite chair.

'So you are here to help Mr Potter reduce his well earned detentions?'

She blinked and hesitated for a moment before she answered, 'Yes, sir, to try at least…'

He nodded and placed the bracelet on the table. 'Please put this around your left wrist; I will show you the necessary spells.'

She silently complied as Snape performed a quick movement with his wand.

'Activate.' The bracelet gleamed light green. 'Finite,' Snape chanted. The glow disappeared.

'Your turn, Miss Granger.'

He watched her right hand intently as she tried to copy his movements and was impressed when she succeeded on the second try. He silently motioned for her to place the bracelet back on the desk.

Snape leaned back in his chair. 'Miss Granger, knowing the necessary spells is one thing. I expected you to learn them; however, I doubt you will be successful in helping Mr Potter.'

'Why, sir?' Her voice was tinged with hurt. Snape raised his eyebrows.

'Miss Granger, the bracelet is only a monitoring tool. The challenge to induce Mr Potter to anger, not to mention subsequently encouraging to control it, still remains. Given your status as one of the leaders of his fan club, I doubt you will be willing or able to cause him any distress or inconvenience.'

The girl frowned, however, her voice was calm. 'With all due respect sir, I am not what you call a fan, but a true friend who has Harry's best interests at heart.'

'Meaning what?' Snape asked sarcastically.

'I care for Harry very much, but that doesn't mean that I am blind to his faults or don't criticise him about them.'

'So there is some hope left for the boy, after all,' Snape remarked drily. 'Still, even if you try your best, I doubt you will be as successful in riling him up…as I am.'

She nodded, albeit reluctantly. 'You're probably right, sir. I'll have to think of something.'

Snape placed a collection of small vials on the desk. 'Whatever you're thinking, don't even _consider_ compensating for your inability to incense Potter by allowing him to overdose on the potion. Under no circumstances is he to drink more than one small vial a day. Is this absolutely clear?'

'Yes, sir.'

'I hope I don't have to stress how dangerous it can be to overdose. Even with the right dosage you have to watch the bracelet carefully. As soon as the color changes to violet, you need to take action and give him the antidote. If you doubt you'll succeed in making him swallow it fast enough, you might even have to stun him and contact me immediately. You will be responsible for Potter's health. I trust you know that his heart can suffer if you act irresponsibly?'

'Yes, sir,' Granger calmly repeated, meeting Snape's eyes.

Seeing her determined and serious expression, he believed her, secretly wondering how it was possible that Potter could spend every day in the company of this girl, who possessed so much self-discipline and self-control, without it rubbing off on him. Her protectiveness of Potter was obvious, and Snape decided to use it to prevent any harm caused by the Potter boy's stupidity.

'I am entrusting those potions to you, Miss Granger; you are to keep them secure. They are not authorized by the Ministry, and it could become rather unpleasant for me should they be used in a prank or even leave the castle.'

Granger seemed puzzled for a short moment but then nodded in understanding. And Snape felt certain that she knew he was thinking of the Weasleys' joke shop.

'However,' he added, 'any inconvenience I might find myself in will be nothing compared to the trouble Potter will find himself in, as it will be he, not you, who suffers my wrath.'

She frowned. 'Why, sir?' she asked, her tone for the first time taking on a challenging edge.

Snape raised his eyebrow. 'It would hardly be appropriate for me to cane _you_, Miss Granger,' he remarked sarcastically and felt deep satisfaction when he saw Granger blush crimson and – for once! – become speechless.

'No, sir,' she merely muttered after a moment of silence and awkwardly looked at her hands.

He was amused. Of course there was no way Albus would ever allow him to cane Granger – not that he wanted to, anyway – and surely the girl knew that as well. However, the chance of teasing her had been too good to miss. Besides, it had been a good opportunity to make clear what Potter needed to expect, should the two of them cause any trouble. As protective of her friend as she was, Snape was convinced she would do everything in her power to prevent Potter from acting stupidly.

'You may leave, then,' he said, pushing the vials toward her.

'Thank you, sir. Have a good evening,' she said quietly. Pocketing the small bottles, she stood quietly and left.

Snape remained seated, massaging his temples slowly. Yes, Granger had been entirely respectful; although, he had to admit to himself, she usually was. Still, the girl was often irritating, especially in class. He hadn't dubbed her an "insufferable know-it-all" for nothing.

But today was different. Today she had restrained herself and demonstrated her intelligence without showing off. In spite of himself, Snape was rather impressed.

He had just arrived back in his private quarters again when there was a knock on the door again. He sighed. This was one of the days where people just wouldn't leave him alone. When he opened the door, he found himself face to face with Minerva, who was carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses. This was most unusual - although he appreciated the head of Gryffindor house, they were not so friendly with each other that they used to visit each other in their private rooms, with drinks no less.

'Minerva', he greeted her, raising his eyebrows but stepping aside nevertheless so she could pass, 'to what do I owe this pleasure?

'Well', she gave him a smile, 'as my students are busy celebrating the Quidditch cup it seems only fair that I also amuse myself, don't you think, Severus?'

'Very funny, Minerva,' Snape replied, but nevertheless sat down on the couch beside her and accepted a glass of wine, albeit reluctantly. He flinched when the witch tapped his knee with her hand.

'Never mind, Severus,' she said. 'To tell you the truth, the main reason I am here is that I wanted to talk with you about Mr Potter.'

Snape emitted a groan. _Not Potter again!_

'I admit I have been angry at you for putting the boy in detention during the Quidditch match. But now I see that it was the right thing to do as well as being beneficial for the whole Quidditch team and for Potter.'

Snape's eyebrows shot up. 'Why's that, Minerva?'

'Well,' she replied, 'it has been good for the team to see that they can win without Potter's participation. They have always relied on him far too heavily. And as for Mr Potter, he also has always been rather fixated on his Seeker role, however, he _is_ Captain as well this year. Yesterday, for the first time, he began to think as a Captain – since he knew he would not take part in the match today, he set up a long training for the team yesterday. I could see them from the window of my office, they were out there for hours. Knowing you, Severus, I have no doubt that Potter found the training session very painful indeed; flying when you have been recently caned is hardly enjoyable, but he still did it.'

Snape nodded silently. He could follow Minerva's logic, although it had certainly never been his intention to help the Gryffindor Quidditch team! And as for Potter, he had to admit that, with all the faults the boy had, he was certainly no coward when it came to enduring pain. He remembered Potter's outburst from the morning, saying that they had had a great training the day before, with not a single complaint about it being painful for him.

The week that followed was rather uneventful and, what's more, relatively Potter-free. He still saw the boy in class, but luckily Potter kept a low profile and even came to his lessons well-prepared.

Saturday morning came and Snape was enjoying his breakfast. It was a Hogsmeade weekend and while that meant that the excited chattering of the students made the noise level even worse than usual, it also promised that except for the first and second years all students would soon have left the castle and granted a peaceful respite to their teachers. Well, for all of the teachers but him, Snape corrected himself, thinking of the upcoming detention with Potter. It was incredible how much time he spent with that boy or on matters with him, and he wasn't even in his House! Glancing at the Gryffindor table, he noticed Potter's glum expression: it was obvious that the boy wasn't looking forward to his detention. _Well, that makes two of us,_ Snape sighed to himself. He would have so enjoyed a morning with plenty of time for uninterrupted brewing.

A little while later, he was sitting at the desk in his office and called Potter to come in.

'Good morning, sir,' Potter said stiffly upon entering the professor's office. He didn't bother to hide the expression of dislike in his face when he noticed that Snape had again prepared the table at the side for brewing.

'Potter.' The professor scrutinized him shortly before gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. 'Take a seat.'

Potter obeyed silently.

'Did you remember to bring the bracelet with you?'

'Yes, sir.' Potter pulled it out of his robe and placed it on the desk before him. It was impossible for Snape to miss that Potter was in a bad mood. Was he sulking for having to miss Hogsmeade in favour of detention? Snape wasn't sure.

'I am sure you would have had numerous ideas on how to spend a nice, sunny day like this in Hogsmeade. And with _whom_,_'_ he said, as he smiled briefly to acknowledge to Potter that he was well aware that the boy was going out with the Weasley girl now.

'So let's hope today's outcome will be worth both our trouble,' the man continued, opening a drawer of his desk, taking out two vials and placing them on top. 'Did you practise with Miss Granger, Potter?'

'No, I didn't,' his student muttered to Snape's astonishment. Although Potter had seemed determined to practise after the last detention, Snape was less surprised by Potter's lack of follow-through than he was by Granger's. It wasn't like her to shrink from a task. He had actually hoped that , contrary to his expectations, Potter had made some progress so that they would soon be able to put an end to all these detentions. However, as it had been Potter's idea to practise, he couldn't really tell him off for not doing so.

'Well, at least this time, unlike during our Occlumency lessons, you admit it openly. One should be thankful for small progresses, I suppose,' he merely said.

'Hermione felt she needed some more time to prepare herself for working with me... sir,' Potter explained hastily. 'She asked her parents to send her some books on meditation and relaxation techniques and said we would work on them together.'

Snape's eyebrows shot up. He did his best to hide it, but he was really quite impressed. He himself had thought at some length about how to spend the detentions with Potter in order to achieve any progress with the impulsive boy, but it hadn't occurred to him to look for any methods other than magical means. Of course Granger, with her Muggle background and that indisputable intelligence of hers, was bound to look for solutions there, too, and, he admitted to himself that she might be more successful than he with his more drastic approach. He tried to imagine what exactly Muggle meditation techniques implied and got the mental image of an orange-clad Potter with shaved head and closed eyes emitting "oommh" sounds. This was just hilarious.

'Meditation? She isn't planning on teaching you Yoga as well, is she?' he asked sarcastically, imagining Potter trying to fold himself into the lotus position. The mental images just got better and better!

Potter obviously didn't see the humour in it. 'Don't ridicule her like that!' he shouted at Snape. 'At least she's _trying_ to help me, unlike you! You're just using this opportunity to make me miserable; you are just a sadistic...' he stopped, panting.

Snape leaned forward and brought his face closer to Potter's. 'Watch your attitude, Potter,' he hissed. He could understand that Potter felt he was sticking up for his friend, although he hadn't really meant to insult her, but he would not tolerate Potter shouting at him and calling him names.

'But what I said is true!' Potter insisted, his tone as offensive as before. 'She really put a lot of thought into this and sacrificed her time to help me! And you're just making fun of her because she does a better job than you will ever do!'

Snape's voice was a dangerous whisper. 'I'm warning you for the last time, Potter....'

Potter remained silent, staring at him, refusing to blink. Snape could feel the anger thrumming through his veins, but he drew a deep breath to calm down and continued.

'I will not tolerate your insolence, Potter, and you will not prevent me from expressing my astonishment about Miss Granger's ... unconventional methods; although, having had to teach the know-it-all for so many years I should have expected something like this...'

The image of the meditating Potter shot through his mind unbidden and his anger was again overshadowed by amusement. He actually felt a bit sorry for just having called her a know-it-all. The term had slipped out more from anger over Potter's more or less calling him incompetent compared to her. He shook his head, his lips twitching and went on.

'After all, she is a Mu...'

'Don't you dare call her Mudblood!' Potter shouted furiously, interrupting him. 'That's the real problem you have with her, isn't it? You Slytherins are all alike, you can't stand that you Purebloods aren't always the smartest people in the world!'

Snape stared at him. The utter contempt with which Potter had pronounced the name of his house was wildly offensive and angered him much more than the actual inaccuracies in Potter's outburst. After all, Snape was not a Pureblood and, more importantly, he had been going to say 'Muggle-born', not 'Mudblood'. But of course that self-righteous lout would assume the worst.

'Potter, you will stop this instant or you will regret it,' he said slowly.

But Potter was too far gone to even contemplate stopping. Instead, the boy yelled at the top of his lungs. 'No, I will not! I saw how you called my mum a Mudblood, remember? Just the way your precious Malfoy does with Hermione! You must have really despised my mum; she stood up for you and you called her "filthy mudblood"!'

Snape was livid. 'How dare you...' _You arrogant bastard, you know nothing about me! So after sneaking in my memories you dare to judge me by the bit you saw? And you dare to yell at me like that? _In all his years as a teacher no student had ever shown him such blatant disrespect. Fury rose inside him. Potter had reminded him of the horrible moment that had spelled the end of his long friendship with Lily, and his anger mingled with the grief that was still almost as fresh as it had been all those years ago. He found himself at a loss for words and could not finish his sentence. All he could do was glare at Potter who stared back, wide-eyed, and then had the nerve to draw his wand!

'Expelliarmus!'

Snape's reflexes were excellent as always. In a fraction of a second he was on his feet and caught Potter's wand with his left hand. Staring down at his student, he forced himself to calm down. Yes, Potter would dearly pay for this, but he needed to stay in control of himself! Slowly he pocketed Potter's wand. The boy slowly got up from his chair, too, maintaining eye-contact. For a few long moments neither of them said anything, until Snape doled out a flick of his wand. His cupboard door burst open and the cane came flying into Snape's outstretched hand.

'Over the desk, Potter. Right now!' He was pleased to notice that his voice was calm. Yes, he had calmed down enough to deal with the boy appropriately.

'No,' Potter said simply.

'You refuse?' Snape asked slowly.

'Yes, I do.' Potter didn't avert his eyes, and he obviously had managed to gain control over himself, too. At least his voice sounded calm as well and didn't shake.

Snape placed Potter's wand on the desk between them.

'Get out of my sight then,' he said in a toneless voice.

Potter grabbed his wand and pocketed it. Slowly he walked to the door, and without looking back at his professor he left the office and quietly closed the door behind him.

Snape dropped the cane and sank into his chair and stared at the door. Potter might have just refused to accept the consequences of his appalling behaviour, but he would still pay. Snape drew a deep breath. It was time for another visit to the headmaster.


	11. Albus

**AN: ****Thanks to everyone who is still reading this story , and especially to those of you who reviewed. It was great to see you're still there!**

**As several people have pointed out to me in their reviews that it is so unfair that only Harry gets punished harshly while Draco gets away without punishment I think I should drop in a few words concerning this issue.**

**I agree it seems unfair that Draco isn't punished for trying to use an Unfogivable. However, I wanted to follow Canon. There, Draco was never punished for almost killing two fellow students (using the cursed necklace, smuggling in poisoned wine), because Dumbledore wanted to protect him. And he wasn't punished for the attempted Crucio, either, because I am pretty sure that Harry did tell McGonagall about it to justify himself when he was "called out of the common room for fifteen highly unpleasant minutes in the company of professor McGonagall", as it says in the book. Dumbledore said to Draco that he feared Voldemort would have killed him if he had found out that Dumbledore suspected him. He would probably also have killed him if he had found out that Draco was stupid enough to endanger his plans by using an Unforgivable (and getting caught). Well, that's what I think, at least.**

**That was my longest author's note ever, time for the next chapter!**

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'And then Potter left,' Snape concluded his report to the headmaster. He had given Albus a detailed overview about what had happened during Potter's detention that morning – though detention was maybe not the right word, as the boy had left after less than ten minutes.

Albus was sitting at his usual seat, opposite to Snape. He nodded silently and watched Severus intently.

'So you really intended to cane him, Severus?' he asked after a while.

'Of course I did! He deserved it!' Snape replied heatedly. 'What makes you even ask?'

'You were angry, Severus,' was Albus' quiet answer.

'Of course I was angry!' On seeing the headmaster's stern expression, he added, reproachfully, 'But Albus, you really should know me well enough not to imply that I would have been out of control!' Snape was more than a little irritated with the headmaster. Didn't the man trust him by now?

Albus gave him a reassuring smile. 'I know, Severus, that your self-control is remarkable. However, as I have told you repeatedly, it never ceases to surprise me that regardless how well you control yourself usually, this aptitude miraculously seems to leave you as soon as Harry is involved.'

Snape didn't dignify this with an answer.

It was Dumbledore, who broke the tense silence.

'Don't get me wrong Severus, it was not my intention to imply that you would have beaten Harry brutally in blind rage. However, you have to allow me the question, when you intended to cane Harry, for whose benefit this punishment was intended to be, for Harry's or for your own?'

Snape blinked. Albus was looking seriously at him and there was a certain chill emanating from him as he continued. 'You managed to persuade me to give you the authority to punish Harry physically for the time being, Severus, and I did so because, in spite of knowing about your mutual dislike, I trusted you not to abuse your power in that respect.'

The words "at least", though unspoken, hung clearly in the air. Snape sighed inwardly. This conversation was not going the way he had intended, although, he told himself a little bitterly, he should have expected this. Potter had behaved abysmally, but the headmaster was berating him at the moment, not the Boy Who Lived. He drew a deep breath.

'Just for your information, Albus, I did not want to cane the boy just to let off some steam, as you seem to think – although I do admit that indeed it would have made me feel better afterwards. But even with all the affection you possess for the boy, you have to admit that he crossed several lines with his disrespect, and I did give him plenty of warnings. And he even drew his wand on me, his teacher! I think I don't have to remind you that students have been expelled for trying to attack their teachers in the past! So he definitely deserved everything I wanted to deal out, if not more! Don't you agree, Albus?'

Albus raised his hand. 'Allow me to postpone the discussion about what punishment Harry deserves and let's assume for the moment you're right and he did deserve it. Correct me if I am wrong, but from what you told me it seems that Harry felt that he was right with what he was saying? So I wonder how you can think that Harry would have learnt anything from your punishment instead of just feeling unjustly hurt by you? You should have made sure that Harry felt repentence _before_ trying to punish him! To tell you the truth, I am glad that Harry refused to accept any strokes from you under these circumstances.'

Severus swallowed. He couldn't help admitting that indeed Albus had a point. In fact, he had been surprised how well Potter, who never failed to glare at him when being assigned a detention or losing hosepoints, had taken his canings. But the headmaster was right: on both occasions, especially the first, the boy had known what he had done wrong and had voiced regret for his actions.

'I understand what you mean,' he admitted reluctantly, but continued dryly, 'however, I doubt that I'll live to see the day where Potter will feel honest regret for his disrespect. But you have evaded me so far Albus as to the question of what punishment Potter deserves.'

Dumbledore inclined his head. 'Ah, yes. Let's see. If I understood you correctly it started with Harry sticking up for his friend when he felt you ridiculed her?'

Snape's mouth was a thin line. 'Yes,' he said. 'However, he definitely overreacted. Not everybody has to compliment Granger's every idea – however clever it may be - with an enthusiastic outburst of how intelligent she is. And honestly Albus, can you imagine a meditating Potter?'

The headmaster's eyes were twinkling. 'You have to admit Severus, that it is not easy to appreciate your sense of humour, I would even go so far and say that less than one per cent of the students that leave Hogwarts after their NEWTs have become able to understand it.'

'When will you finally stop making up excuses for the boy? The way he shouted at me was intolerable. In all the years I have been teaching here, never before has a student yelled at me like that!' Severus's voice was sharp.

'I do not deny that Harry sometimes has an attitude' –Snape snorted at the word "sometimes" – 'although I find it has become considerably better compared to last year. But Harry is a teenager, whereas you are an adult. You cannot deny, Severus, that it was all based on a misunderstanding. _I_ know you would never refer to a student as a Mudblood; Harry does not.'

Dumbledore's calm, quiet voice was in sharp contrast to Severus', whose face contorted in fury as he hissed, 'No, he does not, he just assumes I do. Your _precious_ Golden Boy sneaked into my memory last year, never ever even tried to apologize for it, by the way, and now he uses it against me! You keep saying Potter is not arrogant, well, what is it if not arrogance, that he thinks he knows everything and claims for himself the right to judge me? You can say what you want about it, but I do not have to stand here quietly and take this!'

He stopped his speech as he feared his voice might break. It was not only fury he felt now, but deep grief as well. _Oh Lily, why did it have to turn out like this? How would _you_ judge me now?_ The thought that he had tried to ban from his mind all this time, that Potter would surely judge him even worse if he knew everything he had done, could be no longer held back. But what did Potter, always surrounded by adoring friends, know about how far rejection, loneliness and the hunger for acceptance could drive a young man?

There was sadness in Dumbledore's eyes as he watched his younger colleague. Slowly he stretched out his uninjured hand and touched Severus' arm lightly, who flinched. Sighing Albus put his hand back on the table.

'I am sorry, Severus. No, of course you don't have to take this and you certainly have a right to be angry. Please bear in mind, though, Severus, that Harry is only sixteen. It is the privilege of young people to possess a certain arrogance that allows them to be so sure they are absolutely right.'

He smiled indulgently before adding, 'Another privilege of youth is to sort everything into black and white, ignoring the various shades of grey inbetween.'

Snape sighed. Had he ever been like that? He wasn't sure. And the headmaster's constant understanding of Potter was getting unbearable.

As if he had read his mind, Albus repeated, 'As I have said you don't have to take this and Harry will need to understand that his behaviour – both his disrespect and his drawing his wand on you - is unacceptable. Dobby?'

Snape blinked as with a loud pop, the house elf appeared.

'Professor Dumbledore is wanting Dobby, Sir?' the elf asked eagerly.

'Yes, Dobby,' Albus replied amiably. 'Could you please find Harry and tell him to report to my office immediately?'

After the elf had disappeared with another loud pop, Snape asked, 'Do you want me to leave?'

'Oh, no. Stay and we'll both see what Harry has to say. I think enough time has passed for him to calm down and come to his senses.' Dumbledore's bright blue eyes twinkled. 'I am sure he is already sitting nervously in his common room, waiting to be called and, I assume, already regretting his outburst.'

Snape raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. He doubted that Potter was feeling regret.

With another pop Dobby appeared again. 'I is sorry, but Harry Potter is not in the school, I is told he is in Hogsmeade.'

The headmaster's face was sombre. 'I see', he said quietly, picked up a quill and wrote down some words on a piece of parchment. After sealing it, he gave it to the elf.

'Dobby, please go to the owlery, find Harry's owl and have her deliver this to Harry.'

After watching the elf leave, Snape felt a certain triumph as he remarked sarcastically, 'Sitting nervously in his commmon room, already regretting his outburst? Doesn't look like it, Albus. Well, if you don't mind, I will go. The boy seems obdurate as ever and I have no desire to witness any more of this right now.'

_And I have no desire to see how you wil__l be soft on him again,_ he added quietly to himself, as he got up from his chair.

'Wait a moment, Severus.' Dumbledore gestured for him to sit down again. Raising his eyebrows, Snape complied.

'As I said, Harry will need to understand that his behaviour is unacceptable. However, lamentable as it is that he saw your memory, it is nevertheless in his head, and there is nothing we can do about it unless you want to obliviate him, which I am sure you agree is not an option.'

Snape didn't say anything, he just waited impatiently for Dumbledore to get to the point. The old man sighed and massaged his temples. Finally he continued.

'So as the memory is there and you have seen what it has caused Harry to assume I wonder if it would help both of you if you told him a bit more about it, and explained some things? Or at least allow me to do so? It would make it so much easier for Harry to understand how unacceptable his behaviour has been, and whatever you say, Severus, he really is a kind person, and he _would_ understand, and he probably would respect you more easily as well.'

Snape glared at the headmaster. Had the old man gone barmy? This was utterly absurd.

'I will not ever talk about Lily Evans with Potter, and neither will you,' he said, putting emphasis on every single word. 'Do not mention this idea to me ever again.'

Dumbledore nodded sadly. 'If this is what you wish, Severus, though I believe you are making a mistake. – That's all for now, then.'

Snape nodded, relieved that Albus had let drop the subject so fast and got on his feet again. He slowly went to the door and heard Dumbledore say, 'Severus?'

He turned around once more.

'Harry will regret his behaviour towards you,' Albus stated simply.

Snape gave a stiff nod and left, feeling highly doubtful about it. The headmaster had displayed his usual naivete where Potter was concerned.

.


	12. Confrontation

**Oh! Good to see you are still here, after such a long wait! Thank you!**** And, as usual, a mega thank you to my beta, kbinnz!**

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Severus had no intention of going to lunch. He felt like he might explode if another conversation with Albus or Minerva was forced upon him. His Slytherins obviously noticed that something was wrong with their Head of House, and they proved their common sense by avoiding him the whole day. Snape tried reading to distract himself, but he put down the book after a while and restlessly paced in his office.

The headmaster's stern words wouldn't leave his mind. Albus had practically accused him of abusing his authority to physically punish the boy, and Snape was still angry at the charge. To the headmaster, Potter was a likeable boy who could do no wrong (or, if he did, was so full of regret as to be instantly forgiven). Snape snorted. He was only too glad that at least this one time Dumbledore had seen Potter's willfulness for himself - getting _thrown out_ of detention and then merrily walking off to Hogsmeade as if he had not a care in the world! Really, the boy had some nerve!

Snape drew a deep breath, his thoughts unwillingly returning to Albus' accusations. _When you intended to cane Harry, for whose benefit was this punishment intended to be, for Harry's or for your own? _

Yes, that seemed to be the criteria by which Albus judged the appropriateness of a punishment: whether the punished person would benefit from it. So the first time he had caned Potter, for whose benefit had that been? For Potter's?

Albus would deny it, Snape was sure, as the boy had already been shocked and remorseful about his deed. Snape, on the other hand, still thought that it could only have done good to the little brat to suffer a painful punishment, and after all the boy _had_ accepted it without complaint. Had it been for Severus's own sake? Partly, yes. It had felt good to be finally able to give the boy what he deserved, but only at first. _ I actually might have been too harsh,_ he admitted to himself. _But it wasn't mainly for my benefit, it was for Draco's, and so I would do it again in this situation!_

But what about the second time he caned Potter? Grudgingly he admitted to himself that it would be difficult to justify the second thrashing to Albus. He had been furious with Potter when he had threatened him with his punishment, but later, after his anger had dissipated and some misconceptions had been cleared out of the way, he had still carried out the caning, fearing his reputation would suffer if he didn't follow through. Looked at it in hindsight, he had to acknowledge that he had been wrong to cane the boy under those circumstances.

Snape shook his head. What was the matter with him? So what if it had been a bit harsh? The whacking had undoubtedly done Potter no harm. The boy wasn't some delicate waif, after all. Besides, he had healed him the next day and more importantly, the lad had so often got away with breaking school rules that it was just poetic justice that for once he got a whacking that might have been not entirely deserved.

Fury rose inside him once again when he thought about his detention with Potter. How dare that boy yell at him like that! What would Albus do to punish him, he wondered briefly. Whatever it was, it surely would be too lenient.

Reluctantly the man decided to attend dinner, lest anyone imagine that he had been upset by the argument with the headmaster. Glaring at everybody who looked at him, Severus was successful in discouraging anyone who might have wanted to speak to him. He levelled a dark scowl at the table where his Slytherins sat and an even darker one at the Gryffindor table.

Potter was present, pushing his food from one side of his plate to the other, while his little friends babbled on around him. Snape focused his attention on his own food and left for his office as soon as he decently could. He definitely was in no mood for idle chit-chat.

Back in his office he picked up the Daily Prophet, only to curse and drop it a short time later. _Isn't it even possible to read a blasted newspaper without being molested by people's thoughts and concern about the Chosen One? _he fumed.

There was a knock on the door. Wondering which one of his Snakes was foolish enough to come near him this evening, he went to the door. When he saw who it was, his irritated frown was immediately replaced by a deadly glare.

Potter cleared his throat. 'Sir, may I talk to you, please?' he asked.

'And what makes you think I would want to spoil my evening by talking to you, _Potter_?' Snape spat. Not that there was much to spoil, but the mere presence of the boy made him want to break something.

Potter flinched, but didn't go. 'Please sir, I'm sorry!' he pleaded.

'I'm not interested,' Snape replied coldly and considered smashing the door in Potter's face, but the boy had the impertinence to put up his hand to forestall his professor's closing the door.

'I'm sorry, sir!' he insisted. 'Please....!'

Snape suddenly became aware that their dialogue was almost identical to the one he had had with Lily all those years ago when he had begged for her forgiveness. But this time it was him standing with his arms folded on a threshold, and this time green eyes were staring pleadingly into unforgiving black. How often he had wished Lily would have given him another chance back then... He sighed and stepped aside to let Potter pass. 'Come in and sit down, Potter.'

After closing the door behind his pupil, he settled behind his desk and peered at the boy seated on the opposite side. Slowly Potter drew his wand and, head bowed, laid it on the table, carefully pushing it over to Snape's side of the desk. Then he folded his hands in his lap and stared down at them without saying a word.

Snape didn't know what he had expected, but it wasn't that. In the wizarding world, handing over one's wand was a distinct sign of submission. Doing so voluntarily was about the greatest demonstration of trust one could think of. He stared at the wand on his desk, just a few inches in front of him, then back at Potter, who hesitantly looked up and met his eyes.

'What did you want to say to me, Potter?' Snape decided to swallow his anger – at least for the time being – and hear him out.

Potter swallowed. 'I wanted to apologize, sir, for shouting at you and for drawing my wand. And I wanted you to know that I wasn't going to attack you. I really wasn't! You just looked so angry and I thought you were going to hex me, so it was a reflex action.'

'A reflex action,' Snape echoed sarcastically, although his instincts told him the boy was telling the truth.

'Yes,' Potter insisted. 'But I'm still sorry, and I know I shouldn't have shouted at you like I did. And…' He dropped his gaze, his voice barely above a whisper, 'I'm very sorry for mentioning the memory. I shouldn't have done that. You – you've never used any of the memories you saw in my head against me, and I'm sorry that I did.' He still kept his gaze on the floor. 'And it's not as if I've never said anything stupid when I was furious. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.'

Snape realized that he had never before seen Potter so full of repentance and guilt, except perhaps when he nearly killed Draco. Albus must have really outdone himself in punishing Potter – something Snape would never have thought possible. Forcing down his astonishment, he coldly asked, 'So, Potter, to what do I owe this sudden, remorseful display? Have you suddenly matured? Or are you simply here because the headmaster ordered you to come? I trust he has expressed his displeasure and punished you?'

Potter visibly swallowed. 'He didn't tell me to come here... Sir,' he hastily added. 'And he didn't punish me, either. But he _did_ "express his displeasure" and make me see that what I did was wrong. I hadn't seen it like that before.'

'Oh?' Snape drawled, curious despite himself. 'How _had_ you seen it, Potter?'

The boy fidgeted a little in his chair bedore he answered, his speech interupted by pauses when he struggled to find the right words. 'Well ... you _were_ ridiculing Hermione, and that made me angry. I was already annoyed about having to be in detention when everyone else was off at Hogsmeade and I just decided that this time I wasn't going to sit there and take it. I knew I wasn't exactly being respectful, but ... I didn't feel like I had to.'

Rage rose inside Snape once more. _You arrogant little whelp_, he thought furiously, _I knew you've always considered yourself superior to the rest of us, though Albus never wanted to believe it, but now you dare to admit it to my face?_ He decided not to say anything yet, though. Let Potter finish what he wanted to say; there would be time to flay him afterwards.

Potter looked at him nervously and hastily continued. 'You see, sir, I know you've saved my life several times, but you've also treated me unfairly right from the beginning. I mean, on my very first day at Hogwarts, you made it clear that you disliked me, and I hadn't done anything to you! Then after that first potions lesson, everyone _knew_ you hated me, but I had no idea why! Well, now I know it's because of my father, but honestly, I was just a scared and nervous eleven-year old!

'Was it just because I looked like him? There was nothing I could do about that! And I never _wanted_ my fame. I hate it when everybody stares at me. But you've always assumed that I enjoyed it, always said I was arrogant.... You've never treated me with any respect, so I didn't feel like I should treat you with any!'

Potter's voice had risen considerably. Snape was just deciding whether to tell him off when the boy swallowed and, of his own volition, continued in a calmer tone.

'You won't believe it, but Potions was one of the subjects I'd been looking forward to most before coming here. When Hagrid took me shopping for my school things, I loved the scales and my cauldron and those interesting ingredients and I couldn't wait to learn how to use them. Well, until that first lesson, anyway.'

Snape was actually taken aback. He wasn't a passionate teacher, but he felt a deep devotion and enthusiasm for the subject of potions. Yes, he knew that the students feared him and his lessons, and he didn't mind that. Still, it was distinctly unpleasant to be told that he had put a previously interested child off potions – probably for good - with just a single lesson.

Could Potter possibly be speaking the truth? Had he really been looking forward to Potions? Maybe he had, but it took more than just curiosity to learn to brew, it took hard work and concentration. Snape thought of all the times Potter had been messing around with Weasley in class. No, he needn't blame himself for Potter's performance.

Potter's thoughts seemed to drift in the same direction, because he sighed and looked at the professor. 'Sir, I know I haven't been a model student. But I'm also sure that many times my potions weren't worse than the others', but I was the only one who got a zero. And I know that you have always been angry at my rule-breaking, and I understand that, I mean, you are a teacher, but...' He struggled to find the right words. 'I mean, I'm a student and everybody breaks a rule now and then, and when we get caught we serve detention...'

_Of course you do, what are you __babbling on about? _Snape thought impatiently.

'What I mean is, the other teachers don't like it when I break the rules, but they just punish me and that's it. With me you always take it personally, like I do it deliberately to make you mad. You've said I consider myself above the rules, but that's not true!'

'Isn't it, Potter?' Snape had finally had enough of the boy's justifications and reproaches. 'It appears to me that when it comes to rulebreaking, you have broken all the records. Well, at least if we leave the Weasley twins out of the competition. And, to use your own words, not many "scared and nervous eleven-year-olds" make a habit of wandering the castle at night, in the restricted section of the library no less! You, Potter, broke the rules again and again, and when you heard that your father had also done so, it got even worse. After Lupin gave you that infernal map that insulted me, there was no stopping you!'

Potter muttered something but Snape wasn't listening, he was now in full stride.

'Do not interrupt me! This map that your father co-manufactured helped you feel immune to being found out, didn't it? Oh, you were only too glad to follow in your wonderful father's footsteps, weren't you, Potter?'

Potter was visibly struggling to control his emotions, but when he spoke, his voice was surprisingly level. 'Sir,' he said, 'it's true that I used to like it when people said I was like my dad. For the first eleven years of my life, I didn't know anything about my parents except the lies my aunt and uncle told me. When I got here and people told me my dad was brave and smart and good at Quidditch –then of course, I wanted to be like him. But, please believe me, when I saw the memory in the pensieve I was shocked to see him behaving like an idiot! When you caught me in the pensieve you asked if I was having fun, but you never let me answer. Well, let me answer now: absolutely not! I may break the rules, but I am _not_ a bully. I know what it's like to be bullied, thanks to my cousin! And I found it horrible to see my dad treat you like that!'

'I'm aware of that, Potter', Snape said quietly, thus halting Potter's impassioned speech.

It took a moment before the boy spoke. 'You are?' Potter asked, sounding utterly bewildered.

'Lupin informed me that you had told them off for their behaviour.'

Snape's thoughts went back to that evening at Grimmault place when Lupin had cornered him. The man had tried hard to persuade him to resume Occlumency lessons with Potter and had tried to invoke Severus's pity by maundering on about how much _poor Harry_ was suffering from being disillusioned about his dead idolised father. The fact that Snape had never forgiven _Moony_ for never trying to stop his friends didn't help Lupin's cause, and the ensuing debate had not been a pleasant one. Well, there was no need to tell Potter any details, so he merely commented, 'He said you were devastated by what you had seen.'

'I was,' Potter admitted miserably. 'Everyone except you had always said he was a good person, but then I saw him act like such a prat... ' He added, hardly above a whisper, 'I wish I had never looked.'

'Yet it never occured to you to apologize. It took the headmaster for that.' Snape stated coolly. That was indeed a fact that had always angered him a great deal. He had come – albeit reluctantly – to believe that Lupin had told him the truth about Potter's reaction to James's bullying, and - even more reluctantly – he had admitted to himself that while the boy was undoubtedly a troublemaker, he was by no stretch of the imagination a bully. Still, the fact remained that Potter had wilfully violated his privacy and had never even uttered so much as a simple "sorry".

'Yeah, you're right,' Potter admitted miserably. 'I felt more sorry for myself for seeing him like that than for you at knowing I had seen it. But the headmaster made me see how selfish that was. I'm truly sorry, Professor,' he said, dragging his eyes up to meet Snape's. 'Please believe me. I know you must hate the thought I saw you like that. I can understand why you were furious – and still are.' He swallowed hard.

Snape stifled a sigh. The boy's remorse was patently sincere, and it was much less fun to taunt a penitent child than a defiant Gryffindor. 'Yes, Potter, I was furious. And believe me, had I then had the authority to cane you, I would definitely have made use of it. Who knows, it might have saved both of us some trouble and grief,' he added, then wondered what would have happened if he had in fact done so?

He remembered with mixed feelings the emotions that had swept through him during Potter's first punishment. After giving the boy a sound thrashing he had felt a mixture of reluctant pity for how much the boy was undoubtedly hurting, along with distinct satisfaction at forcing the boy pay so dearly for his recklessness. Maybe if he had done the same thing after the penseive incident, he would have found it in himself to wipe the slate clean and continue their lessons. Then there would have been no need for the horrible confrontation with Albus that had followed.

The old wizard had been livid when he had heard that Snape had stopped the lessons and accused Snape of acting like an immature teenager. However, as frightening as an angry Dumbledore was, Snape hadn't given in – for what was one of the first times ever. He suspected that the headmaster still hadn't completely forgiven him.

When he refused to resume the lessons with Potter, the boy had been lured to the Ministry, placing himself and his friends in mortal danger, and – indirectly – leading to the death of his beloved godfather. The whole debacle might have been preventable, if Severus had been able to teach him Occlumency.

Of course, that would only have worked if Potter had bothered to practice and put in a real effort, which Snape doubted would have been the case. More lessons probably wouldn't have made a difference in the end…although if Snape had been able to punish Potter's laziness with a few strokes of the cane,. surely that would have provided the boy with some strong motivation! But he hadn't had the option, and now they would never know. Black was dead, and it was no use to dwell on what might have been.

So he added sarcastically, 'At the very least, it would undoubtedly have made one of us feel much better afterwards.'

Contrary to what he had expected, his snide remark didn't provoke an indignant reaction from Potter. He merely nodded silently and looked down at his hands once again.

'You could still do it,' he said quietly.

_Oh yes, and be killed first by Albus and then by Minerva, _was the first thought that shot through Severus's brain, to be replaced quickly by a sense of utter shock that Potter would even make such a suggestion. He stared at the boy who finally managed to look up, pink-faced and obviously feeling anxious, but there was no doubt that the offer had been honestly made.

Unlike Albus, Potter seemed to find the idea that Snape would hand out a thrashing to make himself feel better, and not to help Harry learn something, completely understandable and not morally contemptible. Snape shook his head internally. Boys!

'A whole year later? I don't think so, Potter. I may hold a grudge, but even for me that's a bit much.'

Potter's relief was obvious. He asked tentatively, 'Sir, would you mind telling me…My dad, was he generally like that? You know, a bully?'

Snape considered him for a moment. Why did the boy ask him, of all people, not Lupin, not Minerva, not Albus? _Because he wants to hear the truth,_ a small voice said inside his head, _no pretty sidesteps, but the naked truth._ Respect for his pupil rose inside him and stifled the temptation he felt at first, to answer with a simple "yes". But that wouldn't have been true, he had to admit. James had treated most students well.

'No, Potter. Not generally,' he answered and Potter breathed another sigh of relief. 'Just with me,' the man continued coolly, not wanting the boy to get the impression that what he had seen had been a single, uncharacteristic lapse on his father's part.

'Oh.' Potter looked at him uncertainly and then changed the subject.

'Sir, I just wanted you to know, when I looked into your pensieve, I didn't do it because I wanted to see embarassing things from your private life. Really! It was just that nobody was telling me anything, and I thought you might have some information about the Order in the pensieve, and I would find out what it was all about with the Department of Mysteries, but then when I saw my dad in there I just couldn't leave...'

'Let me see if I understood you correctly,' Snape said slowly. 'You didn't want to embarrass me but rather looked into my pensieve in order to find out about Order business that I might have wanted to hide from you.' He paused and said quietly, 'I see.'

'Yes,' Potter confirmed in tones of relief, and Snape felt overwhelmed by the boy's complete lack of common sense.

'And it didn't occur to you,' he went on, still quietly, 'that any information hidden there would have been there for a reason? You are aware what the Dark Lord would have done to me if he had broken through your non-existent occlumency shields and found memories concerning my work for the Order in your mind?' His thoughts went to the most recent of Voldemort's torture sessions that he had been forced to witness while performing his spying duties, and he shuddered. He shook his head. 'Really, Potter, I know that you dislike me, but I have been unaware until now how cunningly you have worked to bring about my painful death!'

Potter was just staring at him. 'I.... I didn't think!' he stammered.

'That, Potter,' Snape said icily, 'is exactly your problem. You never think!' He wanted to scream in frustration. _When will you stop your foolishness and learn to think about consequences? Too many lives depend on your ability to consider your actions!_

'Well, Hermione does!' Potter said flippantly.

Snape said forcefully, 'Yes, thank Merlin, she does! I am only glad, Potter, that you prove more sensible in your choice of friends than in your choice of actions!'

Potter blinked stupidly at that.

Snape drew a deep breath and continued. 'In fact, you should listen more closely to what she says. Especially during the next few weeks, when she will be explaining those relaxation techniques to you.'

Potter shot him a bewildered look. 'But earlier you thought that the whole idea was just ridiculous!' he protested.

'I never said that, Potter,' Snape snapped. 'And if you hadn't been in such a foul mood from the moment you entered my office, you might not have jumped to that conclusion. Although, I forget, jumping to self-righteous conclusions about other people is a speciality of yours!'

'But,' Potter protested feebly, 'you _did_ make fun of her wanting to teach me meditation! Sir.'

'And you blame me for that?' Snape remarked drily. 'You fail to see that the thought of you of all people sitting on the floor, meditating, is about as bizarre as the idea of Professor Trelawney playing Quidditch?'

'Maybe she'd see the snitch with her Inner Eye,' Potter grinned.

'Maybe, Potter.' Snape supressed a grin. Yes, that would be about the only chance the madwoman would have. But what was happening here? Was he actually sharing a joke with Potter?

'So you mean you weren't laughing about Hermione, but about me?' the boy inquired hopefully.

'Indeed, Potter.' Snape eyed him for a moment. 'You become incensed at the thought that I might be mocking Miss Granger, but can find it amusing if you are the target of my humour?'

Potter shrugged awkwardly, but didn't reply. Snape dropped the subject and came back to what they had discussed before.

'Given your personality, I am sure Miss Granger has immersed herself into what may well prove her most challenging project.' _Well, maybe not,_ he thought amusedly when he remembered the girl's crusade for the liberation of house-elves. Several poorly-knitted hats had made the round in the staff room after Albus had reassured the upset house-elves that they were under no obligation to be freed. 'But given her dogged persistence, I believe she is well suited to the job.'

He gazed at Potter and hesitated before continuing. This was going to be hard to say. 'I realize, Potter, that my methods to train you to control your temper have been somewhat... drastic. And it might well be that Miss Granger's approach will work better for you, especially since you obviously trust her and don't suspect her of "just wanting to make you miserable".' He quoted Potter's outburst from the morning.

Potter just stared at him stupidly.

'I have better things to do on Saturday mornings than have you yell at me, Potter,' Severus continued quietly, 'so I will suspend your detentions. Instead you will work with Miss Granger. But mark me! I _will_ keep my eye on you to ensure that you practise and make progress. If you do, we will consider your detentions with me finished. If you don't...' He made an ominous pause. _Better not to make any specific threats...._

'I will!' Potter assured him hastily. 'I promise!' Snape believed him. And even better, he knew he could count on Granger: the girl would never leave Potter in peace until she was satisfied with his progress.

'Is there anything else about the Sectumsempra affair or today's events that you would like to tell me?' Snape asked, looking into Potter's eyes.

'No, sir,' the boy said softly, not bothering to hide his relief.

'I see. Then we will complete this now.'

Snape got up, walked over to the cupboard and opened it. On the lowest shelf lay the cane. Snape picked it up. Was he doing the right thing? He knew he never again wanted to use it on Potter, or any student, to be exact. But was it wise to tell Potter that? Wouldn't he need the deterrent in the future? He had to admit, Potter had in their present conversation shown him unprecedented respect, so why shouldn't he be able to handle Potter from now on? He easily managed with everybody else, after all.

Snape turned around and crossed the room to where Potter sat. Looking into the boy's anxious face, Snape suddenly became aware that the boy was misinterpreting his intentions. Understandably so, he had to admit.

Potter's wide eyes were fixed on the cane. He drew a deep breath, stood up and took a step towards the desk. 'Yes, sir,' the boy whispered and started undoing the fastenings of his robe.

'Potter,' Snape said calmly, holding the cane out to him, 'take this and put it back where it belongs.'

'What!?' Potter spluttered.

'Take the cane and put it back where we got it from,' Snape repeated impatiently. 'I trust you remember where that was?'

'Y-yes,' Potter stammered, 'but aren't you going to… you know?'

'Cane you?' Snape shook his head. 'No. I have no intention of doing so again.' He hesitated. 'It might have been a mistake the last time as well.' There. It was out. That was the closest he would ever come to an apology to Potter and he hadn't liked to say it, but the boy had impressed him several times during their conversation, showing a side of himself – self-deprecating, penitent – that Snape would have sworn didn't exist. He had also been willing to submit to another thrashing and had - finally - apologized for his actions with the pensieve - actions Snape would never have expected the boy to do willingly.

Potter stared at him for a moment before mumbling 'That's okay.' He seemed to feel as awkward as did Snape himself. 'Erm, I did tell you that Professor Dumbledore didn't punish me, didn't I?' the boy asked. He obviously couldn't believe his luck.

Snape was amused and couldn't resist teasing him. 'You never before appeared to be someone who minded getting out of a punishment.' Snape raised his eyebrows. 'And last time I looked, you were no house-elf. But, certainly, if you insist... ' He flexed the cane meaningfully.

'No!' Potter shouted hastily, then blushed crimson. 'Of course not,' he muttered, hurrying to take the cane from him.

Snape gave it to him, thinking of Potter's gesture of handing his wand over at the beginning of their meeting. Handing the cane over at the end somehow seemed appropriate.

'Thanks,' Potter mumbled.

Snape nodded. 'Don't forget your wand, Mr. Potter.'

Potter picked it up and walked to the door. As usual Snape couldn't resist throwing a last remark at him.

'Potter?'

His student turned around once more. 'Sir?'

'I just wanted to warn you, Potter. There is no need to indulge in your usual disrespect. I said "put it back", not "snap it in two and feed the pieces to the Giant Squid". After all, I might have need of it again, mightn't I?'

To his surprise, Potter didn't take the bait and snap back indignantly. Instead his lips twitched. 'Don't worry, sir,' he said, straightfaced. 'I'll stow it away neatly so you will have no problem finding it.'

Snape suppressed a laugh, hiding his surprise. Potter had obviously understood that his threat wasn't meant seriously. Was it possible that Potter of all people was among the few – the very few, Albus would say – students who understood his sense of humour? _Arrogant Potter is even able to joke about being caned again? Where is his grudge about his whackings? Where is his injured pride? Since when are arrogant people able to laugh at themselves?_ He looked into the boy's eyes, and Potter cheekily grinned, adding, 'After all, you might need it for Malfoy.'

Snape rolled his eyes. _You wish._ 'Good night, Mr Potter.'

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**A/N: That was almost the end. There is just an epilogue missing. As I still only have a somewhat vague idea about what it will be like, I can already say it will take a while – well, it's not as if I can claim having updated soon in the past, I know.**

**As I said at the begining of this chapter, thanks for following up to this point! And maybe you have a couple of minutes to spare and can motivate yourself and leave a review?**


	13. Epilogue

Snape gulped as he he saw the jet of green light erupt from his wand and hit Dumbledore's chest, blasting the old wizard into the air. For a split second he seemed to hang suspended beneath the shining skull, and then he fell slowly backwards, over the battlements and out of sight. Snape couldn't believe he had actually done what Albus had asked.

He had also kept his Unbreakable Vow, but he still had to get Draco out of Hogwarts as soon as possible.

'Out of here, quickly,' ordered Snape. Draco was still paralyzed with shock and unable to look after himself, so Snape seized the boy by the scruff of the neck and forced him through the door. Together they sprinted down the spiral staircase, into the dimly lit corridor where the fight still raged. Snape made sure they were at the next door before shouting, 'It's over, time to go!'

Then they were outside the castle, on the grounds. 'Run, Draco, and Disapparate as soon as you are outside the school's boundaries, do you understand me?' he said urgently. Draco's eyes were wide and his pale face looked even more unhealthy in the greenish light of the Dark Mark. But he seemed to have regained some measure of his composure, because he gave a quick nod and started running, with Snape following him as fast as he could. When the boy reached the boundaries and managed to Disapparate, Snape felt deeply relieved. He stopped running and, panting, walked the last meters to the spot where Draco had would stay here for a moment longer to make sure that all Death Eaters left the school before they could cause any more harm. He turned around and stared at the castle.

There was movement! Potter was racing out of the building, straight at him, Alecto just a few meters behind him. When she threw a curse at Potter, Snape only just managed to erect a shield in time. However, the energy that erupted when the curse hit the shield was such that it sent Potter flying to the ground, and the deflected curse set a nearby bush on fire.

'No!' Snape yelled at the witch. 'Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord! We are to leave him! Go! Go!! You, too, hurry up!' he yelled at the other Death Eaters that had meanwhile arrived.

Thankfully, she and the other Death Eaters listened to him and Disapparated. Snape breathed a sigh of relief. It would have been fatal if he had managed to save Draco but had lost Potter in the process to some overenthusiastic Death Eater.

Snape watched as Potter scrambled to his feet and quickly covered the rest of the distance that seperated him from Snape. Maybe there was still time to give him a few instructions. He had just saved the boy's life – again! - and at least until Flitwick woke up and was in condition to report that Snape had attacked him, Potter had no reason to suspect that he had been doing more than his usual spying duties for the Order.

After all, Potter had finally started to trust him a few weeks ago, and they had managed to get along without any major conflicts since that time. However, one glance at Potter's face, illuminated by the burning bush, showed nothing but deep hatred and rage.

'Sectumsempra!' yelled Potter, waving his wand wildly. Snape deflected the spell with a quick flick of his own wand. Where did Potter's sudden loathing come from? Had he been up on the Tower as well?

If so, he would have had to have been under his Invisibility Cloak. But then why hadn't he interfered? Snape hissed as he fit the pieces together: Potter must have been there, Immobilized by Albus. There was no other explanation.

_Albus..._ The frustration and sadness he felt about what he had had to do nearly overwhelmed him once again, but the expression on the face of the boy before him brought him back to his duty.

'You dare use my own spell against me, Potter?' he hissed dangerously. 'It was I who invented it – I, the Half-Blood Prince!' _And it was the first real Dark spell I invented,_ he thought, _somehow it all started with this..._

His revelation only infuriated Potter even more.'Stupefy!' Another red jet of light flew at him, which he blocked easily. Rage didn't make Potter a more dangerous opponent, quite the opposite.

'You will never win a duel if you don't master nonverbal spells, Potter!' he spat at the boy. What was happening to him? His teaching career was undoubtedly over, still... Potter needed to learn, he needed training! Where was he going to get it? It was almost certain that the Dark Lord would take Hogwarts over soon, and Potter would not be able to fnish his education there, nor would his friends. _Oh Albus, you left us all far too soon..._

What had Albus been thinking? One day in the future, Snape was supposed to tell the boy that he had to die in order to defeat the Dark Lord for good. Now that Potter had witnessed him killing Albus, how was he supposed to make Potter believe him about the fragment of the Dark Lord's soul inside him? Now Potter would surely believe it to be a lie, and a rather pathetic one at that.

'Crucio!' His shield was almost too late this time. If he didn't concentrate, the boy might win this duel in the end, and that mustn't happen. The price he had paid to gain his position as the Dark Lord's most trusted servant had been far too high.

_Expelliarmus!_ His own nonverbal spell brought success instantly. Potter's wand flew high into the air, and with a swift momvement of his arm that would have made any Seeker envious, Snape caught it. 'No Unforgivables from you, Potter!' he commanded. This was definitely no classroom setting, but he couldn't afford to lose any opportunity to train the boy, as absurd as the timing might be. 'You have neither the ability nor the nerve!'

The boy, although disarmed, was far from giving up. Fists raised, he flung himself at Snape Muggle-style. A Jelly-Leg-Jinx dropped him to the ground, cursing. Snape approached him and the boy, unable to stand, sat up and looked into his face.

Snape could see hatred, but no trace of fear in the boy's countenance. ' Kill me, then,' Potter panted. 'Kill me like you killed him, you coward!'

Snape heard the blood thunder in his ears. Coward? When he had just destroyed the only real protector that he had and signed his own death warrant? 'Never... ' - his wand whipped through the air – '... call me a ... ' – another whipping movement of his wand followed, this time in the opposite direction – '... coward!' he hissed furiously. Potter cried out and his hands flew to his face where, on each cheek, an angry red welt had appeared.

Snape lowered his wand. The lashing hex, though not dangerous, was extremely painful. Why had he thrown it at Potter; what had he expected? Potter had seen him kill an unarmed man. His reaction was logical and just a taste of what everybody would be saying. Despair made breathing difficult for a moment.

Potter glanced at his fingers as if checking for blood, then looked accusingly at Snape again. 'Dumbledore trusted you absolutely,' he said, tonelessly.

'Yes, Potter.' Snape's voice was no more than a hoarse whisper. 'He did.'

'How could you!' Potter's voice broke and the indictment in his tone caused a chill to run down Snape's spine. _Yes, Potter, I myself wonder how I could. To focus enough to be able to use Avada Kedavra on the one living person I care most about… Albus, I hope you are proud of me,_ Snape thought bitterly.

'And I trusted you, too.' The boy's soft words were hardly audible. Snape felt a lump in his throat. Not long ago he wouldn't have cared less about Potter's opinion of him, but now he found Potter's disappointment almost unbearable. He longed to shout out that he had been following Dumbledore's orders, but that was out of the question. Potter would never be able to keep that knowledge to himself.

'I did what had to be done,' Snape said quietly, internally wondering if he was already going too far with his cryptic hint, 'as you will have to do one day, Potter.'

Potter still was staring at him, his face a mixture of grief and confusion. 'Professor Dumbledore trusted you absolutely,' he repeated, though his tone was less accusing than before.

Snape wondered if it was possible that he had planted the seed of a doubt in Potter's mind. It would be more than he could have asked for, and maybe already more than it was safe to do. But the vague possibility was a definite, albeit very small, consolation.

Potter opened his mouth, and closed it again, without saying anything. Tears were running down his cheeks as he silently scrutinized Snape, searching for answers in his eyes. Staring into the boy's pale face Snape couldn't ignore the fact how much the boy had matured over the last few months. 'And I am sure, Mr Potter,' he added, 'that when the time comes, you, too, will be able to do what needs to be done.'

Never before had he expressed such confidence in Potter, but in that moment he knew the boy would not shrink back from his duty. Maybe, just maybe, there was still hope for all of them. Well, except for Potter. He was surprised by the intensity of grief he felt at the thought of the inevitability of the boy's death. As to how he was supposed to deliver the Headmaster's last message to Potter, he would have to solve that problem later.

Voices could be heard and he saw a group of people coming out of the castle. There was no time to lose.

Snape raised his wand. Potter had his gaze fixed on him but didn't flinch. '_Finite._' Snape undid the Jelly-Leg-Jinx and threw Potter's wand to the boy. Potter caught it, too bewildered to use it straight away.

Snape looked a last time into the boy's face, desperately hoping it was not the last time he would see the boy alive. There was nothing left to say, or rather, there were hundreds of things to say, but it was too late.

Snape suddenly realized that Albus had been right when he had suggested that Snape tell Potter about his involvement with his mother. Well, that was just another one of the numerous chances he had missed in his life. But this was definitely not the moment. So with a stiff nod to Potter, Snape turned on the spot and Disapparated.

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**So FINALLY the story is complete. I know it's a rather sad ending and probably not what some of you expected, but given the context, with Voldemort about to take over and a war about to start, I found it rather hard to come up with something cheerful...**

**As always, reviews are more than welcome, I am really curious to read what you think!**


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